www.theonion.com/content/node/41676
If Pittsburgh falls, how long before the rest of us follow?
Pittsburgh not ready for zombie invasion!
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Pittsburgh not ready for zombie invasion!
by Mr. Manly » Wed Oct 26, 2005 8:26 pm
Check this out:
www.theonion.com/content/node/41676
If Pittsburgh falls, how long before the rest of us follow?
www.theonion.com/content/node/41676
If Pittsburgh falls, how long before the rest of us follow?
Got my jackboots polished and woo-woo bashin' on my mind.
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Mr. Manly - Government Shill
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by I Am He » Thu Oct 27, 2005 2:24 am
That Site is a winner. Poped it in my saves. 
ho·me·o·path
n.
An effect produced by the successive dilution of intelligence to non-existent levels; can cause an unqualified high school drop out to consider themselves better qualified than actual doctors. See also: whack job
n.
An effect produced by the successive dilution of intelligence to non-existent levels; can cause an unqualified high school drop out to consider themselves better qualified than actual doctors. See also: whack job
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I Am He - Paid Debunker
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by Animal » Thu Oct 27, 2005 2:52 am
Mr. Manly wrote:I vote for Animal and Ikyoto as the dual heads of FUMA.
As the Actiing Under-Secretary, I humbly accept the nomination as the FUMA Under-Secretary for Sweep-and-Burn Missions. I'm now awaiting congressional approval.
This just in from the AP Wire Service:
The Acting Under-Secretary for Sweep-and-Burn Missions has declared a major Zombie infestion in the halls of congress. The capitol building is in flames..
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Animal - Illuminatus
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Re: Pittsburgh not ready for zombie invasion!
by Cl1mh4224rd » Fri Oct 28, 2005 11:22 am
Mr. Manly wrote:If Pittsburgh falls, how long before the rest of us follow?
Well, I don't know about the rest of you, but I'd be going down pretty quick. Then again, zombies are pretty damn slow. I may be able to get away, unless those really crappy horror movies are any indication, then the speed with which they travel large dstances in nearly instantaneous...
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Cl1mh4224rd - Government Shill
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by azazul » Fri Oct 28, 2005 3:40 pm
Then again, zombies are pretty damn slow.
Actually, the new reports suggest that zombies can run just as fast as any other human. They do not appear to lose near as much of their motor functions during zombification as what has been believed in the past.
- azazul
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by Bill EE » Fri Oct 28, 2005 4:37 pm
azazul wrote:
Damn, I better pick up a flamethrower on the way home tonight!
Quote:
Then again, zombies are pretty damn slow.
Actually, the new reports suggest that zombies can run just as fast as any other human. They do not appear to lose near as much of their motor functions during zombification as what has been believed in the past.
Damn, I better pick up a flamethrower on the way home tonight!
"Mars" is also a chocolate bar found on Earth. These are highly concentrated sources of carbohydrates, which are of vital importance to many carbon based life forms. Mars bars are slightly rippled with a flat underside. They are sometimes used in English courtship rituals in which the female performs various allegorical oral acts with the chocolate bar, which is donated by the male as part payment for this spectacle.
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Bill EE - Disinformation Agent
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by I Am He » Sat Oct 29, 2005 3:41 am
Shit!! I'm up the creek without a paddle. I can't run and our city has strict gun control laws.
By any chance, is it to late to get out of town??
By any chance, is it to late to get out of town??
ho·me·o·path
n.
An effect produced by the successive dilution of intelligence to non-existent levels; can cause an unqualified high school drop out to consider themselves better qualified than actual doctors. See also: whack job
n.
An effect produced by the successive dilution of intelligence to non-existent levels; can cause an unqualified high school drop out to consider themselves better qualified than actual doctors. See also: whack job
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I Am He - Paid Debunker
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by Ikyoto » Sun Oct 30, 2005 4:26 pm
We need to lure the "living impaired" into a large building with a good smooth floor. Marble woud be best. Then toss in a couple tons of mables. While they flail around we send in commandoes with bats to bust their heads up.
I strongly suggest that we use the rontunda of the capitol building. The floor is perfect and getting drooling zombies in there has never been an issue in the past.
(Note: The above memo was issued while the acting under-secretary was buring out the old zombies, an action which is not condoned by the acting uber-secretary untill the un-official public opinion oll "What should be done with the Living Impaired and which socks go best with these pants" comes back.)
I strongly suggest that we use the rontunda of the capitol building. The floor is perfect and getting drooling zombies in there has never been an issue in the past.
(Note: The above memo was issued while the acting under-secretary was buring out the old zombies, an action which is not condoned by the acting uber-secretary untill the un-official public opinion oll "What should be done with the Living Impaired and which socks go best with these pants" comes back.)
just a 10-4 guy in a 9-5 world
Ninja Squirrel says... Nothing. Your nuts are already gone.
Keeping them from kicking our asses for talking about it like they aren't going to kick our asses for talking about it is the hard part.
Ninja Squirrel says... Nothing. Your nuts are already gone.
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Ikyoto - Disinformation Agent
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by Lance » Sun Oct 30, 2005 6:11 pm
If the acting under-secretary waited for approval from the acting uber-secretary, wouldn't he just be another zombie?
No trees were killed in the posting of this message.
However, a large number of electrons were terribly inconvenienced.
==========================================
Build a man a fire and he will be warm for a few hours.
Set a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life.
However, a large number of electrons were terribly inconvenienced.
==========================================
Build a man a fire and he will be warm for a few hours.
Set a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life.
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Lance - Administrator
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by I Am He » Mon Oct 31, 2005 2:49 am
And wouldn't be against the law to harm them under the Americans with Disabilities Act?? Also some of them would be over 50, and that would come under the Age Discrimination Act??
ho·me·o·path
n.
An effect produced by the successive dilution of intelligence to non-existent levels; can cause an unqualified high school drop out to consider themselves better qualified than actual doctors. See also: whack job
n.
An effect produced by the successive dilution of intelligence to non-existent levels; can cause an unqualified high school drop out to consider themselves better qualified than actual doctors. See also: whack job
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I Am He - Paid Debunker
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by Ikyoto » Tue Nov 01, 2005 9:13 pm
Welll for jebus's sake! If you want things done RIGHT they have to go through committee! And STUDIES! We need lots and LOTS fo studies! We need ot bring in consultants to help figure out what to do!
I like the blonde consultants in bikini's. And we can hold the conferences on an island after we incinerate everyone who might become a zombie. That way we're sure to be safe while we consult with each other.
(Pass the beer and lube.. this could take a while)
I'll get back to you with the commitee's findin's after we're done with the consultations and studies.
I like the blonde consultants in bikini's. And we can hold the conferences on an island after we incinerate everyone who might become a zombie. That way we're sure to be safe while we consult with each other.
(Pass the beer and lube.. this could take a while)
I'll get back to you with the commitee's findin's after we're done with the consultations and studies.
just a 10-4 guy in a 9-5 world
Ninja Squirrel says... Nothing. Your nuts are already gone.
Keeping them from kicking our asses for talking about it like they aren't going to kick our asses for talking about it is the hard part.
Ninja Squirrel says... Nothing. Your nuts are already gone.
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Ikyoto - Disinformation Agent
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- Joined: Mon Oct 03, 2005 11:51 am
by Ikyoto » Fri Nov 04, 2005 9:16 pm
Been there. Ain't a big loss. Now if we lost Sanduski... THAT would worry me! Lot of blondes there if I remember correctly.
just a 10-4 guy in a 9-5 world
Ninja Squirrel says... Nothing. Your nuts are already gone.
Keeping them from kicking our asses for talking about it like they aren't going to kick our asses for talking about it is the hard part.
Ninja Squirrel says... Nothing. Your nuts are already gone.
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Ikyoto - Disinformation Agent
- Posts: 329
- Joined: Mon Oct 03, 2005 11:51 am
by I Am He » Sat Nov 05, 2005 5:31 am
It was never stated if they could climb up steps? Maybe if I went somewhere high, like a high riser I would be safe??
Or maybe I could join Ikyoto committee on that Island. Joining the committee seem the better choice I think.
Or maybe I could join Ikyoto committee on that Island. Joining the committee seem the better choice I think.
ho·me·o·path
n.
An effect produced by the successive dilution of intelligence to non-existent levels; can cause an unqualified high school drop out to consider themselves better qualified than actual doctors. See also: whack job
n.
An effect produced by the successive dilution of intelligence to non-existent levels; can cause an unqualified high school drop out to consider themselves better qualified than actual doctors. See also: whack job
-
I Am He - Paid Debunker
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- Joined: Mon Jul 04, 2005 5:23 am
by Ikyoto » Sat Nov 05, 2005 6:25 pm
Bring something to open the beer bottles and I'll make sure you get a cabnet position.
just a 10-4 guy in a 9-5 world
Ninja Squirrel says... Nothing. Your nuts are already gone.
Keeping them from kicking our asses for talking about it like they aren't going to kick our asses for talking about it is the hard part.
Ninja Squirrel says... Nothing. Your nuts are already gone.
-
Ikyoto - Disinformation Agent
- Posts: 329
- Joined: Mon Oct 03, 2005 11:51 am
by I Am He » Sun Nov 06, 2005 6:42 am
I just so happen to have a shitload of church keys. Can and Bottle.
ho·me·o·path
n.
An effect produced by the successive dilution of intelligence to non-existent levels; can cause an unqualified high school drop out to consider themselves better qualified than actual doctors. See also: whack job
n.
An effect produced by the successive dilution of intelligence to non-existent levels; can cause an unqualified high school drop out to consider themselves better qualified than actual doctors. See also: whack job
-
I Am He - Paid Debunker
- Posts: 628
- Joined: Mon Jul 04, 2005 5:23 am
by Lance » Sun Nov 06, 2005 3:36 pm
I can open a beer bottle with a BIC lighter. Does that count?
No trees were killed in the posting of this message.
However, a large number of electrons were terribly inconvenienced.
==========================================
Build a man a fire and he will be warm for a few hours.
Set a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life.
However, a large number of electrons were terribly inconvenienced.
==========================================
Build a man a fire and he will be warm for a few hours.
Set a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life.
-
Lance - Administrator
- Cheeseburger Swilling Lard-Ass who needs to put down the remote and get off the couch.
- Posts: 91418
- Joined: Thu May 12, 2005 5:51 pm
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by Ikyoto » Sun Nov 06, 2005 4:55 pm
Beer and lighter fluid... Sure, what the hell. Can't be any dumber than zombies trying to WALK across the bottom of the ocean to get to us! The fish will save us!
just a 10-4 guy in a 9-5 world
Ninja Squirrel says... Nothing. Your nuts are already gone.
Keeping them from kicking our asses for talking about it like they aren't going to kick our asses for talking about it is the hard part.
Ninja Squirrel says... Nothing. Your nuts are already gone.
-
Ikyoto - Disinformation Agent
- Posts: 329
- Joined: Mon Oct 03, 2005 11:51 am
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