mental illness

[gillianren]

okay, as I think most of you know (heaven knows I've mentioned it over on BABB often enough), I am, no kidding, mentally ill. I was diagnosed with manic depression when I was in seventh grade, and I began having panic attacks a few years ago.

as I'm sure you also know, Tom Cruise recently criticized Brooke Shields for taking Paxil to get over postpartum depression. (clearly, pulling an Andrea Yates would have been far superior to letting the Evil Psychiatric Establishment have its way with her.) I was reading an argument about this a few minutes ago, and he said, and I quote, that there was "no such thing" as a chemical imbalance.

yeah, I know. Scientology; what do you do? but even non-Scientologists (and I'm thinking specifically of my boyfriend's mother, here) don't always quite believe it's the same as being "really" sick. now, don't get me wrong--I think we're overmedicated as a society, and not everyone on, say, Prozac (and here I'm thinking specifically of a former roommate) needs to be. I just think there's this huge stigma about it. "mentally ill" (which I do see as being different than "crazy") is a PC insult in a lot of circles, especially where site rules forbid the c-word.

so I guess what I'm doing is venting, but I'd also like to ask for other people's perspectives on the subject. how many of you have actually dealt with mentally ill people, other than me and Lurker? (I don't really consider that dealing w/us, either; we're online.) how many of you are even aware that only something like half the states in America require parity in insurance between mental illness and other mental illness? (no joke. Washington just became one of them, but since I can't afford insurance anyway, it's kind of moot.)

the funny thing is that, on MTV's 80s retrospective back in '89, Stephen Tyler said that saying "just say no" to a heroin addict is like saying "just cheer up" to a manic depressive . . . clearly not realizing that people do just that all the time.

[twinstead]

I remember seeing a show on TV a while ago about people who had totally irrational phobias. One poor lady was deathly afraid of balloons. I mean totally, frantically afraid of balloons.

Seeing her reaction to a bunch of helium balloons being brought out onto the stage and the look of terror in her eyes when I was thinking, "they're just balloons, lady!" gave me a little insight into what it must be like to be mentally ill.

I can imagine that most mentally ill folks just might have a small part of their brain that constantly asks them what the hell they are doing, and why can't they just snap out of it, even though it is not even close to being that easy.

Is that true?

[gillianren]

it's pretty close. actually, I have a phobia of making cold calls. and I say to myself, you know, it's Pizza Hut. they want me to call. but I don't know them, so I can't.

however, when I'm in full-blown depressive episode or panic attack, there's no part of my brain left for self-analysis. invariably, however, if I'm around people who've never seen it before, they ask me why I'm upset, and I no longer have the focus to say, "because I'm mentally ill, you idiot."

I'm pretty clear on how it looks from the outside, I think. but my problem is that, by and large, very few people seem willing to try to figure out how it looks from the inside.

[frogesque]

I'm involved on the fringes of a bipolar affective disorder (BAD) group (manic depression for those unfamilliar with the term). Lithium is the standard treatment along with other drugs that help sufferers maintain a semblance of normal life. I don't have bipolar myself though I've diced with depression fairly regularly; I'm fortunate, its not as bad as it used to be and I've never taken drugs for it. Councilling is not a cure but it did help me face some issues and I've learnt to cope better.

I know I could have opted for the drug route but if I had used the dried frog pills then I wouldn't have been able to drive or work machinery which would have lost me my job at the time - just what a depressive needs So it is horses for courses and I wouldn't decry anyone who decides to opt for medication so long as all the implications are discussed openly and the sufferer is aware of what's on offer and able to reverse the decision at a later date should they so wish.

One thing I would stress without getting on a high horse. Alcohol is a depressant no matter how good it make you feel while under its effects. For a depressive to use or abuse alcohol is not clever and can easily 'bounce' a person into a depressive episode, more drinking then becomes a treadmill.

It's not all doom and gloom though. Most depressives have a wry inbuilt sense of humour and can also be very creative so the folk I know wear their BAD T shirts with pride. They take the view that anyone will get sympathy for a broken leg but to survive a broken head takes real guts.

[ToSeek]

it's pretty close. actually, I have a phobia of making cold calls. and I say to myself, you know, it's Pizza Hut. they want me to call. but I don't know them, so I can't.

It doesn't address the problem, but if you really want pizza, you can always order via their website. I do that in preference to trying to communicate my (sometimes complicated) orders over the phone.

[gillianren]

well, okay, yes--to be fair, the reason I don't order pizza these days has a lot more to do with being broke. if I had money, I could make my boyfriend call for me. (there is one pizza place in the world I can call, but they've had the same delivery guy since I was nine, and he always asks me how my mom is doing, so it doesn't feel like a cold call. however, the reason he asks how she's doing is that the place is about eight blocks from her house, which is a bit far from where I currently live to ask them to deliver.)

I actually let myself rant on BABB about this subject. the interesting thing about the rants is that more mentally ill people speak up when I do. so far, the consensus is that one of the hardest things about the illness (though, of course, not the hardest) is that society doesn't take it seriously.