Poem: Folk Tales of the Dao

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Poem: Folk Tales of the Dao

Postby Lonewulf » Wed Jan 13, 2010 1:02 pm

Not all is as it seems
From the rising sun
To the shining moon
All is encompassed.

I spend the night with
The fairy in the wall

Chased to the poplar tree
By the dead girl rising

The inner self out the ear
My homunculus escapes

I evade the fox spirit
That tries to possess me

Not all is as it seems
In this world of magic
The world of the Dao

Angry from his great lie,
Black beast slays the tiger

Like the gongs chime,
The frog chorus sings

Brought to the heavens,
The God of War tests me

Caught in my bed,
I fight off the troll

Lying in the haunted house,
I watch the tiny woman mourn

Learned under the Priest,
I can run through walls

Not all is as it seems
From the ocean's tide
Under moonlit rooftops
Be wary of the unreal.
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Postby Lonewulf » Wed Jan 13, 2010 5:44 pm

Okay, after 7 views, I think it's fair enough to get out there with this.

If you like it, please respond. If you don't like it, please respond. Not responding at all makes me think no one viewing my poem cares at all for it, much less cares enough to comment.

My feelings won't be hurt by a little critique. I might have a history for getting angry easily, but unless you dismiss it for silly reasons, I have no reason to be so; I'm used to harsh critiques on writing.com. Sort of. :P
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Postby Lance » Wed Jan 13, 2010 6:23 pm

I don't think I'm qualified to comment because this is not an artform I typically enjoy. It might be great or it might not. I just don't know.
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Postby Lonewulf » Wed Jan 13, 2010 9:11 pm

If you didn't enjoy it, then that still means something. Good poetry should be good for everyone, not just "elites".

Ah well, I enjoy that you took the time to read it at least.
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Postby Lance » Wed Jan 13, 2010 9:25 pm

Okay, what the heck...

Fairies, tiny women, black beasts, tigers and trolls... These are all things I can enjoy in stories but I'm more visually oriented. I don't enjoy reading much at all. I wait for the movie to come out.

In this case I had a hard time following it. I'm not sure why, I can't really put my finger on it.
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Postby Lonewulf » Thu Jan 14, 2010 3:22 am

Too condensed, you think? The biggest criticism for this poem was that I was introducing a new story every 3 lines.

(I should add that all of these short stories came out of "Strange Tales from a Chinese Studio" by Pu Songling)

These are all things I can enjoy in stories but I'm more visually oriented. I don't enjoy reading much at all. I wait for the movie to come out.


No wonder you call this the Illiterati. You're illiterate! :shock:
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Postby Lance » Thu Jan 14, 2010 11:00 am

Lonewulf wrote:No wonder you call this the Illiterati. You're illiterate! :shock:

Well, okay...
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Postby KLA2 » Wed Sep 15, 2010 7:13 pm

Lonewulf, I can imagine Led Zepplin or a heavy metal rock band screaming this poem as lyrics.

I hope that does not give offence. Many would consider it a compliment. :wink:

What constitutes poetry and appreciation of poetry is highly personal.

Poems I particularly like include Ode to a Mouse (Robbie Burns), The Hollow Men by TS Eliot and several by Lewis Carrol.

Yours I find interesting, but I seek a meaning, an emotion I can relate to.

I gain a certain emotion, but find the meaning elusive.

I have not read "Strange Tales from a Chinese Studio" by Pu Songling.

It may sound like I do not appreciate your poem, but that is not true.

I think most poetry is written for the writer – if others like it, or better still, buy it … bonus!

To quote Patrick Kavanagh, his poem "Sanctity":

To be a poet and not know the trade
To be a lover and repel all women
Twin ironies by which great saints are made
The agonizing pincer-jaws of Heaven

(Copyright © Estate of Katherine Kavanagh)

I think this is why few have responded – it is hard to critique poetry.
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