Illuminati-R-Us

by **Capt. Moosedoom** » Mon Jun 23, 2008 10:41 pm

He does it in Klingon? No one can read it.

I wish my leg didn't hurt so I could use my NEW CAR...which i received the day after.

by **pmcolt** » Mon Jun 23, 2008 11:19 pm

Your leg feels great, and so you hop into your new car and go for a drive... only to hit a bicyclist after driving less than a block.

(Feel better soon, Moose.)

I wish it were the weekend already.

by **troubleagain** » Tue Jun 24, 2008 7:41 pm

It is, but you can't remember Tuesday through Friday! :shock:

I wish I had more good music on my mp3 player.

by **pmcolt** » Sun Jul 06, 2008 4:51 pm

Your mp3 player is loaded with great music, but a few days from now you get a hundred and fifteen letters in the mail from the music industry's lawyers...

I wish I could tessellate congruent regular pentagons across a plane.

by **troubleagain** » Mon Jul 07, 2008 3:35 pm

You can, but you can't tell anyone about it without them getting a blank, glazed look in their eyes.

I wish the people who work for me could all act like adults.

by **Arneb** » Mon Jul 07, 2008 7:53 pm

They do, as in "adult" movie, and very obviously so. :shock:

I wish Phil Plait's blog would conatain a bit less self-absorbed self-congratulatory self-referentiality and a little more astronomy.

by **KLA2** » Wed Jul 09, 2008 1:44 am

He retires, and hands the responsibility over to you. :roll:

I wish you could do a better job. :evil:

by **Arneb** » Wed Jul 09, 2008 9:57 pm

I can, although it will be about medicine in all its gory, glorious detail... :glp-yak:

(In all seriousness, I couldn't. He is a great science writer, when he's at his best and as long as he avoids philosophical/religious debate; but a little less MeMeMeMeMeMe and Look How We Skeptics Are So Much Holier Than Thou would make his blog a lot more reasonable and readable. I guess it's because it's his profession now, not a hobby any more. He's living off his writing, so a little clang-clang seems to be needed to drive up clicks. :shrug: )

I wish I could write as good as Phil Plait on a good day.

by **troubleagain** » Thu Jul 10, 2008 2:38 pm

You can, but now you're compelled to write, and it begins to interfere with the rest of your life.

I wish I could actually control the temperature in my office. ::brrrrr::

by **Arneb** » Fri Jul 11, 2008 9:18 pm

You can , turning all your coworkers to charcoal.

I wish my holidays were already here.

by **pmcolt** » Sat Jul 12, 2008 2:39 am

Your holidays are here. They were delivered to your doorstep by Fedex, but the box had clearly been handled roughly, and the holidays were damaged, so you had to return them to the manufacturer. It'll be six to eight weeks before they assess the damage and send out replacement holidays.

I wish the mosquitoes would go away.

by **KLA2** » Sun Jul 13, 2008 8:30 pm

They do, but these are big, deep woods Canadian mosquitos that carry you with them. Hope you brought plenty of fluids. :shock:

I wish I was as good looking as I am smart.
(Oh, what a set-up) :lol:

by **Arneb** » Sun Jul 13, 2008 11:10 pm

...Can't...help...it.....Must...res..noooo.

You are.

I wish my comments were as friendly as they are witty.
(Hey, here's my bare chest. You couldn't hit an elephant at that distance, CAN YOU?

by **KLA2** » Wed Jul 16, 2008 11:04 pm

They are.

{Great comeback, Arneb.} :lol:

Hey, here's my bare chest

I wish Arneb had heard of the Mansierre.

http://www.jasonferruggia.com/?p=64

by **troubleagain** » Thu Jul 17, 2008 3:40 pm

Well, he has now, and can't get the mental image to go away, making it impossible to do his life-saving work. I hope you're happy. :D

I wish I were independently wealthy.

by **Arneb** » Thu Jul 17, 2008 6:56 pm

You ae. Attracting all the slimy parvenu inheritance-chasers you otherwise only see in CSI: Miami

I wish my bare chest was as attractive - mutatis mutandis - as my wife's is.

by **KLA2** » Sun Jul 20, 2008 1:56 am

It is. With the appropriate changes. But now you have Boy George as a stalker ... :lol:

I wish I could find a treasure chest in my back yard.

by **troubleagain** » Sun Jul 20, 2008 3:33 pm

You, do, but then the govt. claims your house as an historical site and you have to move out.

I wish all weekends were 3 days long.

by **Arneb** » Sun Jul 20, 2008 10:10 pm

They are. You are working weekends, now, didn't you know?

I wish I didn't have to work on weekends.

by **pmcolt** » Mon Jul 21, 2008 1:57 am

Your boss switches you onto a 120-on, 48-off schedule. Luckily, those 48 hours you get off coincide with weekends.

I wish I had a stopwatch that could freeze and unfreeze time.

by **troubleagain** » Mon Jul 21, 2008 1:18 pm

You do, but it freezes you, too, and there's no one to unfreeze it. Thanks a lot, pal.

:lol:

I wish Mondays didn't suck so badly.

by **Capt. Moosedoom** » Mon Jul 28, 2008 6:26 pm

Yhey dont because they are no longer the first work day of the week. You see, Jesus is discovered as a sham. There is no more church and there is now a six day work week.

I wish i had a great picture of the joker to draw...not one that we have been seeing all over the tv and internet...

by **pmcolt** » Tue Jul 29, 2008 11:26 pm

I dress up as the joker and pose for you to draw. Just as you're almost finished, hippie and Jimmy crash through the window dressed as Batman and Catwoman. We battle each other as a Steve Miller Band song plays on the radio. Your wonderful drawing is destroyed in the melee, and we leave to go play cards instead.

I wish I could find my autographed Tift Merritt album that I swear was sitting right at the top of my stack of CDs for, like, months.

by **Мастер** » Mon Aug 04, 2008 12:13 am

You found it, it slipped behind the oven and is covered with grease.

I wish the phone would stop ringing.

by **KLA2** » Mon Aug 04, 2008 3:23 am

It does.

I wish I could turn water into wine like what's-his-name.

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