The Corrupt-A-Wish Game

[umop ap!sdn]

You have before you a bowl of shrimp flavored ice cream drizzled with ketchup.

I wish sweets weren't so habit forming to the point where I get all headachy.

[Dragon Star]

Granted, your head just explodes instead. No more sweets.

I wish I had more Root Beer. :(

[hippietrekx]

it's made from the roots of a Baobob tree. It tastes pretty rancid, and has an extremely low alcohol content.

I wish I had actually studied for that Biology test last Tuesday...

[pmcolt]

You did, and you passed it, and decided that Biology is really your thing, and majored in it in college, and decided to get your master's. During your thesis defense, you accidentally drop a vial containing a genetically engineered bacterium you designed which, when released into the atmosphere, quickly consumes all cotton fabric. All the stiff doctors run out of the room in embarrassment, and you don't get your degree.



I wish the homework fairy would sneak into my room tonight, do my physics homework, then smack me upside the head with her wand for being too stupid to finish it.

[Мастер]

She will, but she will provide the exact same answers for someone else in the class, so you are both kicked out of school for cheating.

I wish the author of the book open on my desk right now would incorporate my suggestion in the fourth edition.

[Lance]

He does, and right after the millionth edition is sold, you discover you were wrong and are both subjected to ridicule for the rest of your lives.

I wish the cataract surgery Cyndi had this morning heals well and quickly, with no complications.

[Dragon Star]

Granted, it heals quickly, with no complications. But in your sleep mice chew yours out.

I wish chap-stick worked longer.

[hippietrekx]

Okay, but you don't have to borrow some of Kelly's lips as often.

I wish I had had enough money for pop this afternoon.

[Мастер]

You do - warm pop, which is cheaper than cold pop.

I wish the shipment UPS claims was delivered to my office building at 2:32 PM this afternoon had actually shown up in my office today.

[pmcolt]

It did. But aliens from Zeta Reticuli snuck into your office while you weren't paying attention and stole it, because it contains a critical item they need to create a gigantic graviton gun, which they will use to alter the course of Planet X so that it impacts the Earth. It seems they're mad at us because of our mockery of them after planet X didn't show up (never let a first year astrophysics student from Zeta Reticuli University make important trajectory calculations).

I wish didn't have so much trouble falling asleep.

[Lance]

Okay, you develop narcolepsy and fall asleep at the worst possible times, like driving or while having sex.

I wish it were Spring right now instead of Fall.

[pmcolt]

^ If only I were having sex so that I could fall asleep while having it. (Falling asleep while driving is no fun. Cruising up I-85N at oh-dark-thirty is only fun when you have some caffeine in your system.)

You're instantly teleported to the middle of the Amazon rain forest, in the southern hemisphere where it is spring right now. There's no sign of civilization, no internet access, and the only things you can find to eat are hairy caterpillars that look pretty poisonous.

I wish I had something fun to do this weekend.

[Capt. Moosedoom]

You come tomy B-day party #3...

I wish blue were currently living in my closet.

[St. Jimmy]

Ok but he's living there with Ben and leah gets jealous and never talks to you again.

I wish I remember to bring the Walmart list to brittani's tomorow.

[umop ap!sdn]

Okay, you bring it but it's written in Basque.

I wish I had an extra CDRW drive.

[pmcolt]

You find an extra CDRW drive. When you put the CD in, it spins up too quickly and the CD shatters.

I wish I could get rid of this headache.

[umop ap!sdn]

A new miracle headache pill is introduced that's 100% effective, but its most common side effect is temporary blindness.

I wish I didn't have all these scraps of shattered CDRW all over the place.

[Lance]

Okay, all the shards came flying out the front of the drive and lodged themselves in your chest.

I wish the today's weather would have happened yesterday, so Cyndi and I could have gone canoeing on the last day the opportunity existed this year.

[pmcolt]

You had beautiful canoeing weather yesterday. While canoeing, you spotted something in the air. "Look," you exclaimed, "an ivory-billed woodpecker!" Both of you lean too far and get dumped into the water. As you cling to your capsized canoe, you notice a large fin in the water. "Shark!" you warn. "How can there be sharks here?!." The two of you manage to climb back into the canoe, but then the shark rams it at full speed, breaking it in half. You swim frantically to the shore.

As you drag yourself onto land, you stumble upon a nest of fire ants. You run down the shoreline screaming, covered in ants. Cyndi shouts for you to jump back in the water. You take a flying leap towards the water, and land on a rotting log just beneath the surface. You stand up, covered with ants, mud, and bits of wood.

The woodpecker, seeing the ants, swoops down and starts pecking at you. You try to shoo away the attacking bird, and manage to scare it off. Some passing birdwatchers see the end of the incident, recognize the bird, and report you for disturbing an endangered species.



I wish I had something better to do than concoct that dumb story.

[Lance]

You had beautiful canoeing weather yesterday. While canoeing, you spotted something in the air. "Look," you exclaimed, "an ivory-billed woodpecker!" Both of you lean too far and get dumped into the water. As you cling to your capsized canoe, you notice a large fin in the water. "Shark!" you warn. "How can there be sharks here?!." The two of you manage to climb back into the canoe, but then the shark rams it at full speed, breaking it in half. You swim frantically to the shore.

As you drag yourself onto land, you stumble upon a nest of fire ants. You run down the shoreline screaming, covered in ants. Cyndi shouts for you to jump back in the water. You take a flying leap towards the water, and land on a rotting log just beneath the surface. You stand up, covered with ants, mud, and bits of wood.

The woodpecker, seeing the ants, swoops down and starts pecking at you. You try to shoo away the attacking bird, and manage to scare it off. Some passing birdwatchers see the end of the incident, recognize the bird, and report you for disturbing an endangered species.

Best

Corrupted Wish

Ever

!!!!11!!1!2


And now I will forward your wish for the next poster:

I wish I had something better to do than concoct that dumb story.

[Capt. Moosedoom]

you go and make out with some guy you just met.

I wish blue were here.

[St. Jimmy]

Ok but so is your mother.

I wish I had never licked Tommy's foot.

[pmcolt]

You missed and licked his ankle.

I wish I didn't have to update my resumé for the career fair this week.

[hippietrekx]

You don't, but no one hires you.

I wish my brain didn't have blank pieces.

[St. Jimmy]

Ok the blank peices have now been filled with worms.

I wish hippie won't kill me after this post.