The Corrupt-A-Wish Game

[Arneb]

Du schaffst es! Und dann mußt Du Deutsch lernen...

I wish I could use the night for some stargazing instead of... you know.

[Philip]

While stargazing you get attacked by naked men, and no-one can hear you scream.

I wish I could get good Bratwurst in Nottingham.

[pmcolt]

It's served to you by a guy who can't stop talking about Robin Hood.

I wish I were an Oscar-Mayer Weiner.

[umop ap!sdn]

Presto! All you do anymore is wein (whine) about Oscar Meyer.

I wish for world peace.

[Мастер]

You have it. The world is at peace, because all the people were killed in the last war.

I wish I weren't so tired.

[umop ap!sdn]

Okay, you have insomnia and after being up for a week straight you're sure you're a honeybee.

I wish I had a car.

[pmcolt]

You have a shiny new car. It was designed by Al Gore, built by the North Koreans, slightly too small to sit comfortably inside, made entirely of biodegradable plastic, and gets 1 mile per gallon of peanut oil.

I wish I had a girlfriend.

[hippietrekx]

It's me! But you get arrested for planning to partake in illicit activites with a minor. Mwhaha.

I wish I had done something interesting this weekend.

[pmcolt]

You did. It ended with me being arrested for planning to partake in illicit activities with a minor, and you being interviewed by the local news.

I wish this semester would just end.

[umop ap!sdn]

It does, and there are no more, which means no degrees. All that work for nothing. :P

I wish it weren't so hard to play a tune on a QWERTY keyboard.

[Philip]

You beleive you manage to write a masterpiece as beautiful as Mozart's Requiem, but unfortunately you are tone deaf, so it really sounds like torturing a cat with a fork.

I wish I had a cat.

[pmcolt]

You did have a cat, but didn't realize it until after the fortune cookies came.

I wish it were Christmas Eve.

[Enzo]

It were, but Eve turned out to be Adam after all. Tough break.

I wish my roof didn't leak.

[Arneb]

It doesn't any more. It's gone.

I wish I could count a llama among my friends.

[Philip]

You lose the ability to count past one.

I wish I still had the picture of that goofy llama I sent to llance.

[umop ap!sdn]

You have the original. It's 115372 by 206579 pixels and there isn't an image resizing tool within 1000 miles that will touch it.

I wish migraines would cease to exist.

[pmcolt]

Migraines have ceased to exist, but now people get inexplicable stomach pains.

I wish I could have this whole semester back.

[Philip]

You do, make exactly the same mistakes, and then when it's done remember all that has gone before.

I wish for lots of money.

[St. Jimmy]

Ok you get a hobo's idea of lots of money, which happens to be a grand total of $30. Congratulations and don't go spend it all in one place.

I wish it was December 30th.

[Lance]

You wake up and it is December 30th. You realize you slept through Christmas and got no presents.

I wish I wasn't so damn tired this afternoon.

[pmcolt]

You were so wired that the local authorities brought you in on suspicion of being on a controlled substance.

I wish I had a job.

[umop ap!sdn]

You do. On a llama farm... better get goin', there's lots of stalls to detail. :P

I wish I get MeatLoaf's latest album for xmas.

[pmcolt]

It turns out you got a bootleg version. The album cover was actually made of meatloaf. It was wrapped weeks in advance, and you're forced to spend much of Christmas morning airing out the room.

I wish I were a better student.

[teri tait]

You're the top student at your new school where you ride the little bus every morning wearing your shiny new helmet.

I wish I had a Tesla Roadster with all the bells and whistles.

[Lance]

I wish I get MeatLoaf's latest album for xmas.

Meat Loaf - Bat out of Hell III: The Monster Is Loose

Merry Christmas!

Let me know when you're done so I can delete them.