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PostPosted: Wed Aug 03, 2011 10:19 pm
by Arneb
You have one. It gives off a whining sound all night long, sounding an alarm now and then. The mask doesn't fit and thus, leaks air. You are totally devoid of sex appeal wearing it ("now who do you think wants to fuck fucking Darth Vader with his mask on?, Cindy asks), you have dry eyes, mouth and nose from the unmoistured air flow in the mask, and you can't sleep at all because noise, sexual frustration and local irritation all conspire to keep you awake all night long. You start being really tired.

I wish I could bring to the market the ultimate CPAP machine.

PostPosted: Fri Aug 05, 2011 6:30 am
by Мастер
You do. You produce the best CPAP machine, because you have greater need for one than anyone else.

I wish Enzo and wring could travel on a high-speed train on his trip, instead of the sub-sonic Amtrak.

PostPosted: Sat Sep 10, 2011 8:52 pm
by Arneb
They do. Meanwhile in Singapore, Amtrak takes over all the train lines.

I wish the current mosquito pest in Brandenburg were to subside.

PostPosted: Sun Sep 11, 2011 5:23 pm
by Мастер
The huge hordes of rabies-infected bats take care of the mosquitoes. But now, the mosquitoes all being gone, they need to look for something else to eat.

I wish we didn't have to wait until Wednesday for the next round of World Cup matches.

PostPosted: Sun Sep 11, 2011 5:35 pm
by Arneb
You'll notice you wwouldn'T have had to wait when you read the results of Tuesday's matches in the papers.

I wish Nürnberg hadn't won this Sunday.

PostPosted: Sun Sep 11, 2011 6:05 pm
by Мастер
They didn't win on Sunday, unless you count the sort of technical victory that occurs when the other team forfeits.

I wish I hadn't just witnessed one of the National Geographic television channels referring to a Spanish village, while the background graphic had a little dot showing its location, in France.

PostPosted: Sun Sep 11, 2011 6:34 pm
by Arneb
What you've really seen was a glitch in the matrix.

I wish traffic was a bit higher on IRU. I'm bored.

PostPosted: Thu Sep 15, 2011 4:59 pm
by Мастер
Traffic is much higher at IRU. The return of Bill Thompson has the place hopping like never before.

I wish SQ flew to Darwin.

PostPosted: Thu Sep 15, 2011 5:35 pm
by Arneb
Theey do. Right into it.

I wish I coould make some progress on my TB talk.

PostPosted: Sat Sep 17, 2011 11:27 pm
by tubeswell
You'll make progress as you're TB develops into a full blown case.

I wish I could stop dreaming about winning lotto.

PostPosted: Thu Oct 13, 2011 8:18 pm
by Arneb
You do when you win - NZ$ 4,35.

I wish I knew how to end the debt crisis in Europe.

PostPosted: Fri Oct 14, 2011 4:41 am
by tubeswell
You'll find out how to end the debt crisis in Europe when hell freezes over.

I (still) wish I was rich enough to retire. (Damn the lotto. Dammit all to hell)

PostPosted: Sun Oct 16, 2011 4:35 am
by KLA2
You win the lottery, get your wish, and go straight to hell. :twisted:

I wish I had a bottle with a genie.

PostPosted: Mon Oct 17, 2011 6:32 am
by tubeswell
Finish drinking the bottle, dream of genie until the hangover starts.

I wish for longer weekends and shorter weeks

PostPosted: Tue Jan 24, 2012 8:49 pm
by Мастер
You have longer weekends and shorter weeks. The prison has a four-day work week.

I wish I didn't have to go to Europe next month.

PostPosted: Mon Jan 30, 2012 4:33 am
by KLA2
You don't, because the EU has selected you to be their First Man on the Moon. In February, to beat the Chinese. Approved by all members of BAUT, for some reason.

I wish I was the beneficiary of Mactep's life insurance policy. :lol:

PostPosted: Sat Feb 25, 2012 6:43 am
by Мастер
You are. Still here!

I wish The Independent had a proper page three.

PostPosted: Sat Feb 25, 2012 9:18 pm
by Arneb
It does. The Islamist mob demonstrating in the street where you read (yeah right, "read") it takes a dim view of the contents.

I wish I was as physically fit as you apparently need to be with two little kids in tow.

PostPosted: Tue Feb 28, 2012 4:52 am
by KLA2
You are, and consequently, now have a third on the way. :lol:

I wish I had a flying SUV with an eternal atomic battery.

PostPosted: Tue Feb 28, 2012 11:03 pm
by Arneb
You do. Shouldn't have cut that mountain range, though. Now you have a meltdown in your trunk.

I wish I knew of a way not to procrastatinate.

PostPosted: Mon Mar 05, 2012 5:58 am
by KLA2
You know a way. You just never get around to using it.

I wish I could make a wish that would make all my wishes come true.

PostPosted: Mon Mar 05, 2012 7:29 pm
by Arneb
You do. Thanks for putting me in hell, asshole (your "best friend" from highschool says).

I wish I finally got around to using that not procrastinating method you granted me.

PostPosted: Mon Mar 12, 2012 1:03 am
by Мастер
You do. Why put suicide off until tomorrow?

I wish Arneb would reconsider.

PostPosted: Mon Mar 12, 2012 4:34 am
by KLA2
He does, and decides on murder instead.

I wish Mactep had a "panic room." :lol:

PostPosted: Mon Mar 12, 2012 4:52 am
by Мастер
Mactep does. He throws in food for you every week or so.

I wish Air China flew to Domodedovo instead of Sheremetyevo.