Illuminati-R-Us

Suddenly the hidden message within the out-of-phase music makes sense to you - It says 'Pay all your money into tubeswell's bank a/c."

I wish Mactep would get the message about paying me all his money.

Мастер does get the message, which includes tubeswell's bank account. Мастер uses this information, but not quite in the manner tubeswell was expecting.

I wish tubeswell had more money in his bank account before I plundered it.

I have already plundered my bank a/c

I wish for more money nevertheless

You have more money. And the drug cartel knows who took its money.

I wish I hadn't written this appointment on my calendar incorrectly.

Uh-oh, you're now late for your important appointment with the drug cartel bosses - who will want a good explanation why you put their money into my bank a/c.

I wish for lots of honest money in my bank a/c.

A large quantity of authentic Canadian bills somehow ended up in your bank's air conditioning. They melted and caused a blockage. The A/C unit overheated and caught fire, burning down the bank. The arson investigation drags out, as no one can figure out how Canadian currency could have honestly been misplaced in such a fashion. During the 3 years, 2 months, and 17 days that the investigators carefully analyze the evidence, you and everyone else at that bank are locked out of your accounts.

I wish my weekends were long enough to get everything done.

You wishful post was intercepted by your employer, who is looking for fiscal rationalisation in the department where you work. Your wish has been interpreted as a sign you are no-longer motivated at work. Your job is about to be terminated and your boss has put the word out that you are unmotivated so you will find it hard to get another job.

I wish Donald Trump would lose the next US presidential election.

He does, but he loses to the ticket of Kid Rock with Ted Nugent as VP. They immediately get rid of every gun law leading to an impressively devastating wave of violence that plunges the U.S. into a near-postapocalyptic lawless wasteland for the next 200 years.

I wish I lived back near Michigan again.

You do

I wish I could find the time to finally build my telescope and observatory.

You have time to do these things; there's not much else to do in prison.

I wish property in Singapore were as inexpensive as property in Penang.

During Penan' housing bubble, it is.

I wish Phantom Menace wasn't that bad.

It wasn’t that bad; the sequel makes it seem kinematic brilliance by comparison.

I wish this Swiss organisation would hire me (for the job opening they have in SE Asia).

They do hire you, but lunch is always holey cheese and there’s a fucking broken cuckoo clock in your office that randomly activates at least 4 times a day.

I wish Brexit would just go away.

Brexit is rescinded, followed by the dissolution of parliament and the return of all governing power to the monarchy.

I wish I wasn't so sore right now.

You aren't even sore any more. It goes black and falls right off.

I wish smoking wasn't so unhealthy.