OK the silence has gone on long enough! :P
A set of identical twins was put up for adoption. One went to Spain and became Juan; the other went to Arabia and became Amal. After 20 years Juan tracked down his birth parents and visited. When he left, his mother said "I wonder how our other son is doing. Wouldn't you like to see him?" "Whatever for," replied the father, "once you've seen Juan you've seen Amal."
Assassins: Round 4
by umop ap!sdn » Tue Sep 05, 2006 7:40 pm
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by Мастер » Tue Sep 05, 2006 7:58 pm
umop ap!sdn wrote:OK the silence has gone on long enough! :P
A set of identical twins was put up for adoption. One went to Spain and became Juan; the other went to Arabia and became Amal. After 20 years Juan tracked down his birth parents and visited. When he left, his mother said "I wonder how our other son is doing. Wouldn't you like to see him?" "Whatever for," replied the father, "once you've seen Juan you've seen Amal."
Didn't I just see this one somewhere?
They call me Mr Celsius!
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by Lance » Tue Sep 05, 2006 8:10 pm
umop ap!sdn wrote:OK the silence has gone on long enough! :P
Is this your entry in the "Worst Joke of the Board" contest?
No trees were killed in the posting of this message.
However, a large number of electrons were terribly inconvenienced.
==========================================
Build a man a fire and he will be warm for a few hours.
Set a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life.
However, a large number of electrons were terribly inconvenienced.
==========================================
Build a man a fire and he will be warm for a few hours.
Set a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life.
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by hippietrekx » Tue Sep 05, 2006 9:56 pm
Hark! I shall make a new "hot!" avatar featuring the one, the only Lt. Moosedoom. Should be up within the week!
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by umop ap!sdn » Tue Sep 05, 2006 9:56 pm
Khrushchev's Other Shoe wrote:Didn't I just see this one somewhere?
Yeah, at the pjeoq. Served its purpose in resuscitating the thread. :D
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by Dragon Star » Tue Sep 05, 2006 10:32 pm
hippietrekx wrote:Hark! I shall make a new "hot!" avatar featuring the one, the only Lt. Moosedoom. Should be up within the week!
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by hippietrekx » Tue Sep 05, 2006 10:36 pm
Dragon Star wrote:hippietrekx wrote:Hark! I shall make a new "hot!" avatar featuring the one, the only Lt. Moosedoom. Should be up within the week!
Oh, you're not even labeled as hot. Just (Dragon--->).
:P
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by St. Jimmy » Wed Sep 06, 2006 1:17 am
You're labeled Hot on my avatar! Isn't that good enough for you! :P :wink:
Success is not the result of spontaneous combustion....you must first set yourself on fire.
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by teri tait » Wed Sep 06, 2006 2:09 am
Here's a joke my dad sent me:
The phone rings and the lady of the house answers, Hello. Mrs. Ward, please.
Speaking.
Mrs Ward, this is Doctor Jones at the Medical Testing Laboratory. When your doctor sent your husband's biopsy to the lab yesterday, a biopsy from another Mr. Ward arrived as well, and we are now uncertain which one is your husband's. Frankly the results are either bad or
terrible.
What do you mean? Mrs. Ward asks nervously.
Well, one of the specimens tested positive for Alzheimer's and the other one tested positive for AIDS. We can't tell which your husband's is.
That's dreadful! Can't you do the test again? questioned Mrs. Ward.
Normally we can, but Medicare will only pay for these expensive tests one time. Well, what am I supposed to do now?
The people at Medicare recommend that you drop your husband off somewhere in the middle of town. If he finds his way home, don't sleep with him.
The phone rings and the lady of the house answers, Hello. Mrs. Ward, please.
Speaking.
Mrs Ward, this is Doctor Jones at the Medical Testing Laboratory. When your doctor sent your husband's biopsy to the lab yesterday, a biopsy from another Mr. Ward arrived as well, and we are now uncertain which one is your husband's. Frankly the results are either bad or
terrible.
What do you mean? Mrs. Ward asks nervously.
Well, one of the specimens tested positive for Alzheimer's and the other one tested positive for AIDS. We can't tell which your husband's is.
That's dreadful! Can't you do the test again? questioned Mrs. Ward.
Normally we can, but Medicare will only pay for these expensive tests one time. Well, what am I supposed to do now?
The people at Medicare recommend that you drop your husband off somewhere in the middle of town. If he finds his way home, don't sleep with him.
In my hands I hold a candle whose flame is small to see, And if I give but one light to you my life is filled for me.
But...In your hands you hold a torch for many eyes to see, So hold it high that they may light their candlewicks from thee.
By Faye
Nikola Tesla =
But...In your hands you hold a torch for many eyes to see, So hold it high that they may light their candlewicks from thee.
By Faye
Nikola Tesla =
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by Dragon Star » Wed Sep 06, 2006 2:21 am
St. Jimmy wrote:You're labeled Hot on my avatar! Isn't that good enough for you! :P :wink:
No, and put that back in your pants.
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by Lance » Wed Sep 06, 2006 12:24 pm
teri tait wrote:The people at Medicare recommend that you drop your husband off somewhere in the middle of town. If he finds his way home, don't sleep with him.
No trees were killed in the posting of this message.
However, a large number of electrons were terribly inconvenienced.
==========================================
Build a man a fire and he will be warm for a few hours.
Set a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life.
However, a large number of electrons were terribly inconvenienced.
==========================================
Build a man a fire and he will be warm for a few hours.
Set a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life.
-
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by umop ap!sdn » Wed Sep 06, 2006 10:29 pm
Hehe. 
I feel like telling naughty jokes.
There once was a man from Woonsocket
Who stuck his c*** in a socket
Some son of a bitch
Turned on the switch
And he took off like a rocket.
I feel like telling naughty jokes.
There once was a man from Woonsocket
Who stuck his c*** in a socket
Some son of a bitch
Turned on the switch
And he took off like a rocket.
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by teri tait » Thu Sep 07, 2006 12:13 am
umop ap!sdn wrote:Hehe.
I feel like telling naughty jokes.
There once was a man from Woonsocket
Who stuck his c*** in a socket
Some son of a bitch
Turned on the switch
And he took off like a rocket.
Houston we have a problem. . .
What's crappanin' in Arizona?! I heard on the news 6 people took over a high school and there's a standoff, right now!
In my hands I hold a candle whose flame is small to see, And if I give but one light to you my life is filled for me.
But...In your hands you hold a torch for many eyes to see, So hold it high that they may light their candlewicks from thee.
By Faye
Nikola Tesla =
But...In your hands you hold a torch for many eyes to see, So hold it high that they may light their candlewicks from thee.
By Faye
Nikola Tesla =
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teri tait - Puppet Master
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by hippietrekx » Thu Sep 07, 2006 1:03 am
Dragon Star wrote:St. Jimmy wrote:You're labeled Hot on my avatar! Isn't that good enough for you! :P :wink:
No, and put that back in your pants.
Don't tell me you're pouting now....
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by Dragon Star » Thu Sep 07, 2006 1:18 am
hippietrekx wrote:Dragon Star wrote:St. Jimmy wrote:You're labeled Hot on my avatar! Isn't that good enough for you! :P :wink:
No, and put that back in your pants.
Don't tell me you're pouting now....
Wait...what? I don't care... :D
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by umop ap!sdn » Thu Sep 07, 2006 1:31 am
teri tait wrote:What's crappanin' in Arizona?! I heard on the news 6 people took over a high school and there's a standoff, right now!
I read about it here before catching it on the news.
I hope the whistle blower gets out unharmed.
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by teri tait » Thu Sep 07, 2006 3:43 am
umop ap!sdn wrote:teri tait wrote:What's crappanin' in Arizona?! I heard on the news 6 people took over a high school and there's a standoff, right now!
I read about it here before catching it on the news.
I hope the whistle blower gets out unharmed.
But what do they want? What is the purpose of taking over a high school? Do they have demands? A mission statement? Or was it spur of the moment?
Since its on reservation land, is local/federal law enforcement involved?
I know when the few times I've handled claims from losses that occurred on indian land, there's a whole different set of rules to go by.
BTW have you seen any of those medicine circles? My mom told me they're pretty neat.
In my hands I hold a candle whose flame is small to see, And if I give but one light to you my life is filled for me.
But...In your hands you hold a torch for many eyes to see, So hold it high that they may light their candlewicks from thee.
By Faye
Nikola Tesla =
But...In your hands you hold a torch for many eyes to see, So hold it high that they may light their candlewicks from thee.
By Faye
Nikola Tesla =
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teri tait - Puppet Master
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by teri tait » Thu Sep 07, 2006 4:21 am
teri tait wrote:umop ap!sdn wrote:teri tait wrote:What's crappanin' in Arizona?! I heard on the news 6 people took over a high school and there's a standoff, right now!
I read about it here before catching it on the news.
I hope the whistle blower gets out unharmed.
But what do they want? What is the purpose of taking over a high school? Do they have demands? A mission statement? Or was it spur of the moment?
Since its on reservation land, is local/federal law enforcement involved?
I know when the few times I've handled claims from losses that occurred on indian land, there's a whole different set of rules to go by.
BTW have you seen any of those medicine circles? My mom told me they're pretty neat.
Nevermind, I just read it was all grossly overstated. . .no weapons. . . no hostages. . . no standoff. . .
Now I wonder what's really going on?!? UFO invasion? Scientific discovery held under wraps? Its could be a new Roswell type coverup. Have you seen a lot of MIBs running around?
In my hands I hold a candle whose flame is small to see, And if I give but one light to you my life is filled for me.
But...In your hands you hold a torch for many eyes to see, So hold it high that they may light their candlewicks from thee.
By Faye
Nikola Tesla =
But...In your hands you hold a torch for many eyes to see, So hold it high that they may light their candlewicks from thee.
By Faye
Nikola Tesla =
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teri tait - Puppet Master
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by umop ap!sdn » Thu Sep 07, 2006 4:43 pm
I haven't, but I'll say something on here if I do. :D
Going over the last several pages, I see a pattern. This may be my undoing, but I'm gonna try anyway. Counterassassination attempt: I think Lance is trying to kill me with the word blood.
*scrunches eyes shut and waits for the sound of a gunshot...*
Going over the last several pages, I see a pattern. This may be my undoing, but I'm gonna try anyway. Counterassassination attempt: I think Lance is trying to kill me with the word blood.
*scrunches eyes shut and waits for the sound of a gunshot...*
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by hippietrekx » Thu Sep 07, 2006 8:34 pm
umop ap!sdn wrote:I haven't, but I'll say something on here if I do. :D
Going over the last several pages, I see a pattern. This may be my undoing, but I'm gonna try anyway. Counterassassination attempt: I think Lance is trying to kill me with the word blood.
*scrunches eyes shut and waits for the sound of a gunshot...*
wait... it this your third counter assassination attempt?
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by umop ap!sdn » Thu Sep 07, 2006 8:57 pm
I believe it's #2... unless I've killed any targets in between, which would reset the counter.
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by hippietrekx » Thu Sep 07, 2006 9:07 pm
umop ap!sdn wrote:I believe it's #2... unless I've killed any targets in between, which would reset the counter.
That's what I thought. Then unless your word happens to be "attempt" or something, you seem in the clear. Mmmmyep. I don't think you're in hot water right now.
Hey, Lance, what scent is your conditioner?
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hippietrekx - Enlightened One
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by Lance » Fri Sep 08, 2006 1:48 pm
umop ap!sdn wrote:I think Lance is trying to kill me with the word blood.
If I were, it would look like this:
"Hey, umop, say 'blood'."
Why the heck would I want to kill you? I'm getting ready to send you a package right now. If I ship it, and you're dead, how will I get reimbursed for the postage. Sheesh! Silly umop. Or maybe I just wanted your home address so I could stalk you...
1... 2... 3... Yeah, maybe we can revive that thread.hippietrekx wrote:Hey, Lance, what scent is your conditioner?
Suave Tropical Coconut. The llamas just love it, and Cyndi kind of likes it too.
No trees were killed in the posting of this message.
However, a large number of electrons were terribly inconvenienced.
==========================================
Build a man a fire and he will be warm for a few hours.
Set a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life.
However, a large number of electrons were terribly inconvenienced.
==========================================
Build a man a fire and he will be warm for a few hours.
Set a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life.
-
Lance - Administrator
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