Movie Quotes

[tubeswell]

"I'm afraid I'm gonna have to pull rank on you. I didn't want to have to do this. I'm with the Mattress Police. There are no tags on these mattresses."

[MM_Dandy]

Sounds like something one of Bill Murray's characters would say - I'll go with Stripes.

[tubeswell]

Nope.

Teenager: Are you a cop?
Cop Impersonator: As far as you know.
Teenager: Are you gonna take me to jail for car theft?
Cop Impersonator: Why? Did you steal the car?
Teenager: I sure did.
Cop Impersonator: Well, I'm not even sure that's a crime anymore. There've been a lot of changes in the law.

[Lianachan]

Ah! Fletch?

[tubeswell]

Ah! Fletch?

You win

[Lianachan]

No. No no no no no no no no no! No! No no no no no no no no no no no no no! No! Not this fucking time! No fucking way! No fucking way, no fucking way, no fucking way!

[tubeswell]

A movie with Simon Pegg and/or Nick Frost in it?

[Lianachan]

Nope, neither of them.

[tubeswell]

Other 'brit' actors then?

[Lianachan]

Yup.

[tubeswell]

Colin Firth?

[Heid the Ba]

Your ex-avatar Dr Sweary?

[tubeswell]

Oh yeah - I forgot about him already

[Lianachan]

Nope, neither Colin Firth nor Dr Who The Fuck are in it. The line I've quoted is uttered by a very sweary and unhinged character indeed, by an actor who was nominated for an oscar (best supporting actor) for the role. He had previously won an oscar for best leading actor playing a famously peaceful character.

[Мастер]

Ben Kingsley?

[Lianachan]

That's the very fellow.

[Heid the Ba]

Oooooh good guess.

[Lianachan]

Not that it will help at this stage, but I carelessly omitted the last sentence from that tirade. The following is also said at the end of it:

No fucking way, you made me look a right cunt!

[tubeswell]

Okay so I'm almost certain there wasn't a line like that in Schindler's List.

[Lianachan]

Indeed not. I can't remember him saying that in Ghandi, either. As funny as that would have been. That's a big part of the attraction of this film, actually, the look!-Ghandi's-a-nutter! element.

[Heid the Ba]

Equally sure it wasn't when he played Anne Frank's dad you fucking nonce.

[Lianachan]

Indeed.

Further quotes from the same character:

But quite frankly your attitude appalls me. It's not what you're saying, it's all this stuff you're not saying. Insinnuendos.

After being arrested having left a plane, refusing to put out his cigarette:

There's me putting my bag up in the cupboard next thing ya know, I feel hands on me. Someone's touched me, touched my front... my front bottom. I can't believe it, I've gone all cold. I look around, he's standing there isn't he? That steward with the guilty look on his face. I was shocked, I didn't know what to say. I had to sit down, I was that perturbed. Then his mate, the other one who was giving us all lessons on what we do if we land in the sea. How to wear your life jacket etc; He starts off, he starts looking at me all funny... Suggestive. Now I don't know if they're wanting me for a two's'up or something, I don't know how they work it, but I'll tell you what, it scared me. I was shaking like a leaf, so without thinking I lit up a cigarette to calm me nerves. I was trembling, I was very emotional and that's when all the rest of it happened. It's very regrettable. Now, I don't want to kick up a fuss, right, press charges... contact the British embassy. I'd rather not pursue those channels, that's not my style. I'm not that sort of a bloke. I don't want to lose the man his job. Man's got to eat, and I'm sure he's not representative of all you Spanish people. But I would appreciate it if you had a word with him, let him know he's been rumbled. The one with the ginger hair.

[tubeswell]

I got nuthin'

[Heid the Ba]

Ah, I thought you knew it. Sexy Beast.

[Lianachan]

Ah, I thought you knew it. Sexy Beast.

One of my favourite lines: You got very nice eyes, DeeDee. Never noticed them before. They real?

Fantastic film. You're up, Mr the Ba'.