Illuminati-R-Us

by **Squee** » Fri Oct 19, 2007 10:48 pm

So, I was studying with my friend Sarah, and her boyfriend's buddy comes up to me and said "Hey you look famillar. That's kinda hot. Wanna go out sometime?"

Ha..

Care to share any good ones?

by **Мастер** » Fri Oct 19, 2007 11:23 pm

Do they have to be lines we have actually used?

by **Dragon Star** » Sat Oct 20, 2007 1:16 am

"If you've lost your virginity, can I have the box it came in?"

"Did you know women are like parking spots? All the good ones are taken and the rest are handicapped. Which are you?"

by **Superluminal** » Sat Oct 20, 2007 4:46 am

Hi, my name is Dragonstar.

Wanta pet my llama?

I'll show you my llama, if you'll show me yours.

Hi, my umm name, err, is, uhh, ahh, well, you, uh, like to, humh, oh, err, want to umm go some time and umm, if you like, um we could, if you umm I mean, uhh, oh forget it, wanna f***?

by **Lance** » Sat Oct 20, 2007 12:17 pm

One that actually did work for me a long time ago:

"Nice shoes, wanna f*ck?"

by **KLA2** » Sat Oct 20, 2007 1:40 pm

"You dropped your pencil. Here it is."

What, too literal? :lol:

by **Blue Monster 65** » Sat Oct 20, 2007 6:28 pm

One for the Star Trek fans:

Captain Kirk's pickup line in every show: "Fuck me - it'll save the universe"

Woof! - Scott

by **Dragon Star** » Sun Oct 21, 2007 12:02 am

Superluminal wrote:Hi, my name is Dragonstar.

Holy shit, may as well stop the thread, this truly is the worst. Not even the girls that just want to fuck will go for this...

by **Blue Monster 65** » Sun Oct 21, 2007 2:39 am

Sheesh! I almost thought about switch-hitting after that one! :shock:

Woof! - Scott

by **Squee** » Mon Oct 22, 2007 4:29 pm

"Hey, I have a job."

by **Superluminal** » Mon Oct 22, 2007 11:58 pm

Hey, mom's already done the laundry this week, so there's no danger she'll come down to the basement, wanna f***?

by **Dragon Star** » Tue Oct 23, 2007 1:34 am

Squee wrote:"Hey, I have a job."

...and I still need one.

:P

by **Squee** » Thu Oct 25, 2007 11:36 pm

*picks up sugar packet*
"Here, you dropped your name tag."

by **Dragon Star** » Fri Oct 26, 2007 12:54 am

Squee wrote:*picks up sugar packet*
"Here, you dropped your name tag."

*falls over*

by **Enzo** » Fri Oct 26, 2007 5:36 am

I once asked a young lady "Hey, you wanna go up and down in the elevator?" She said, "No, but my apartment is across the street, let's do it there."

Uh, well... sure.

(No, Sugar Plum, it was no one you know, and decades ago. More decades than we share.)

by **Enzo** » Fri Oct 26, 2007 5:48 am

Oh, I might as well tell it here. Not exactly a pickup line, but..

Back when I used to hang out at the tavern nightly, there was a lady I liked, and she liked me. We hung out together in the bar a lot. We liked to dance. Made each other laugh.

One night I asked her out to dinner, and we went to a nice place and had a nice meal. I recall I had prime rib. We had a lovely time laughing and enjoying our time together.

Now this was someone I knew pretty well, and thought she knew me and where I was coming from. We were pals, not dating partners, we never slept together, it was not romance or an affair.

SO as I drive her home after our evening, I said "You know, I expect at LEAST a blow job out of this." Well, I had no idea a woman could fit completely in the glove box of my car. It was a little Datsun, yet she managed to get so far away from me sitting there, I doubt radio could have reached her. Not that I wouldn't have enjoyed such an encounter, but it was completely tongue in cheek. (Intend your own pun there if you like) IT WAS A JOKE. Alas, there was no convincing her, and the next ice age was well under way.

"Shall I walk you to your door?"

"NO."

We were OK, next time I saw her at the tavern, still friends. But if you ever get the notion to say "You know, I expect at LEAST a blow job out of this." STOP. She won't think it is funny.

And chances are you won't get your BJ either.

by **troubleagain** » Fri Oct 26, 2007 2:06 pm

Bwahahaha! Oh, Enzo. You're a trip. :lol:

by **Squee** » Fri Oct 26, 2007 4:33 pm

HAHAHA. I would think it's funny.
Then again, I guess it was the situation....
______________________

"I'm a stand up comic."
>_>
<_<

by **pmcolt** » Fri Oct 26, 2007 11:34 pm

Enzo wrote: She said, "No, but my apartment is across the street, let's do it there."

Wow.

Why do I never encounter women like this? Have they all just mysteriously disappeared from the city streets? :P

by **KLA2** » Sat Oct 27, 2007 12:28 am

Yeah. I think Plato, in his youth, said pretty much the same thing. :wink:

by **KLA2** » Sat Oct 27, 2007 12:35 am

Enzo wrote: Sugar Plum, it was no one you know, and decades ago. More decades than we share.)

Reminds me of an old cartoon from Playboy (Yes, I did read it for the cartoons (also)) Two old* tortoises*, the male says to the female, "Alright, so I was unfaithful. But that was 100 years ago!"

* nothing implied here, Enzo and especially, Mrs. Enzo! :lol:

by **Dragon Star** » Sat Oct 27, 2007 12:45 am

Enzo, you're such a whore. :wink:

by **KLA2** » Sat Oct 27, 2007 12:52 am

Dragon Star wrote:Enzo, you're such a whore. :wink:

But at least, never a bore! :lol:

{That's "bore" not "boar", you big stud.} :P

by **Enzo** » Sat Oct 27, 2007 4:27 am

Nor a boor.

by **pmcolt** » Sat Oct 27, 2007 3:33 pm

Not even a Boer?

Illuminati-R-Us

Funniest/ worst (pathetic) pick up lines.

Funniest/ worst (pathetic) pick up lines.

Who is online