The IMDB Parents Guide Game

[Мастер]

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[Lianachan]

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Ah, didn't notice I was up. I'll crack on with it.

[Lianachan]

A fully nude woman examines herself in the mirror; her buttocks, breasts, legs, abdomens, and briefly her pubic region are all shown. The scene is in the dark and she is illuminated by a space heater, but everything is still visible.

A man and a woman kiss in bed, he lies on top of her and kisses her neck and chest, then removes her pants (we see her bare legs) and her panties and he moves between her legs (we see his bare buttocks). They are trying to have sex when she stops him, moves to the edge of the bed and shines a light between her legs because she seems to be confused by her own anatomy (only her bare buttocks is visible since we see this from behind her).

A woman swims into rough waves near rocks to rescue her dog that seems to be stuck in heavy undertow and we see the dog disappear under the water's surface; the woman disappears as well when her husband struggles to reach her. Another man pulls the husband to the shore, but he goes back in and does not come back out leaving their 18-month-old child crying on the beach (we see the baby again later in the dark and continuing to cry on the beach as the tide comes closer towards him). We later hear a news report that the man's body has washed ashore and that his wife and child are missing.

[MM_Dandy]

Splash?

[Lianachan]

Nope, this one isn't a comedy (and is far more recent).

[Lianachan]

It was set, and filmed, in Scotland (mainly Glasgow and the Highlands), and is based on a book that was written by an author who lives 22 miles from my house.

[Heid the Ba]

Is this the lizard lady with her tail cut off killing people story?

Under the skin?

[Lianachan]

Yup! Great film, although extremely weird. Benefits from showing Scarlett Johansson in the nip.

[tubeswell]

Is that the Wurm thingy?

[Heid the Ba]

Profanity
4/10
2 F-words (one is mouthed), 12 scatological terms (5 are in German and are not translated into English), 12 mild obscenities, 5 religious profanities, 15 religious exclamations.

[Lianachan]

Is that the Wurm thingy?

Just noticed this. Nope, are you thinking of Lair of the White Worm? It's weird, and has a lizard lady (and boobs!) in it. And Dr Who The Fuck, in an early role.

[tubeswell]

Yeah that's the one I was thinking of.

[Heid the Ba]

From violence in the same film:

"A character is stabbed in the hand with a pen during a long and brutal fist fight between two men, both trained assassin's. In this same scene we see a close up of an arm and leg break. Not for the squeamish"

[Lianachan]

Hanna?

[Heid the Ba]

Nope. And not Bond either.

[Lianachan]

Hmm. Maybe what's-his-arse then. Bourne.

[Heid the Ba]

Indeed. In "Punchy, stabby fight". I honestly can't remember which film it is so over to you.

[Lianachan]

That's lucky, I've never seen any of them. I have, however, seen this (and again recently):

A married man skinny dips with another woman in a motel pool (the woman strips down entirely to tease the man, but no nudity is seen on-camera; the man strips down to his underwear he is caught by his wife moments later). The wife strips and jumps in the pool, you can see a brief view of her pubic area and breasts as she jumps in.

A snarling dog bites a man.

Men drink beer at a barbecue.

[Heid the Ba]

I quite like the Bourne films, the story is nonsense but some of the location shots are stunning.

[MM_Dandy]

That's lucky, I've never seen any of them. I have, however, seen this (and again recently):

A married man skinny dips with another woman in a motel pool (the woman strips down entirely to tease the man, but no nudity is seen on-camera; the man strips down to his underwear he is caught by his wife moments later). The wife strips and jumps in the pool, you can see a brief view of her pubic area and breasts as she jumps in.

A snarling dog bites a man.

Men drink beer at a barbecue.

National Lampoon's Vacation

[Lianachan]

Yup!

[MM_Dandy]

A woman masturbates in a bathtub; we only see her face as she moans and says "Oh my" over and over. Her face becomes more excited and it is implied she reaches orgasm when a tree outside bursts into flames.

Moderate sexual references throughout.

Fights occur with people punching it out.

At least 1 f***, 2 shits and 3 damns.

[Arneb]

[Chime in with stupid question]
Can anyone tell me why "men dringk beer at a barbecue" sould be of note to the IMDB parents guide?
[/Chime in with stupid question]

[MM_Dandy]

[Chime in with stupid question]
Can anyone tell me why "men dringk beer at a barbecue" sould be of note to the IMDB parents guide?
[/Chime in with stupid question]

Well, that's sort of the point. The Parent's Guide reels wildly from vague, yet appropriate (alcohol and drugs!) descriptions of mundane stuff that someone, somewhere could possibly find offensive (think of the children!) to hyper-specific details that, um, appeal to our voyeuristic nature like the harlequinesque scene from my latest entry (won't anyone think of the children!). We're making fun of it. And playing a game (Bonus!)

I always get a kick out of the entries enumerating instances of swearing throughout a movie. I always imagine someone watching the movie, notebook in hand, pen poised, not really watching the movie, but just waiting for someone to say 'damn' and to swiftly increment the running tally.

[Arneb]

OK, I thought the parents was some sort of serious, moderated, controlled intrument where you could have a look and find out, without being given bullshit, if you could risk taking a kid there. I didn't think that every bigotted Beckmesser could enumerate anything even vaguely out of the Hello Kitty/Hannah Montana/Bpoy Scout sphere as "not suitable for kids".

I think this game would be loads of fun, if I knew anything about film. Or any films. It pretty much stops for me after a few very basic standards.