A Lonely Lament

Jokes, funny videos and amusing diversions.

A Lonely Lament

Postby Lianachan » Mon Mar 25, 2013 7:21 pm

As a bagpiper, I play many gigs. Recently I was asked by a funeral director to play at a graveside service for a homeless man. He had no family or friends, so the service was to be at a pauper’s cemetery in the middle of nowhere.

As I was not familiar with the area, I got lost on the way there. When I finally arrived, an hour late and I noticed the undertaker had evidently gone and the hearse was nowhere in sight - only the diggers and crew were still there, and they were eating lunch.

Feeling very bad, I apologised to the men for being late and made my way to the grave-side. I looked down and the vault lid was already in place and, not knowing what else to do, I started to play.

The workers put down their lunches and began to gather around. I played out my heart and soul for this man with no family and friends. I played for this homeless man like I’d never played before.

When I started to play ‘Amazing Grace,’ the workers began to weep. They wept, I wept, we all wept together. When I finished I packed up my bagpipes and started for the car. Though my head hung low, my heart was full.

As I opened the door to my car, I heard one of the workers say, “I never seen anything like that before and I’ve been putting in septic tanks for twenty years".
A-nis bidh fios aig daoine nuair a tha mi a 'mionnachadh aig dhaibh.
User avatar
Lianachan
Enlightened One
Enlightened One
Tits and Nazis though.... Worth investigating
 
Posts: 8742
Joined: Fri Mar 05, 2010 5:12 pm
Location: A' Ghàidhealtachd, Alba

Re: A Lonely Lament

Postby Arneb » Mon Mar 25, 2013 7:44 pm

What a wonderful testament to the power of music. I could have been with you there on the no-frills graveyard. Beautiful story.

And the final comment was the icing on the cake. You must have impressed them - Bravissimo!
Non sunt multiplicanda entia praeter necessitatem
User avatar
Arneb
Moderator
Moderator
German Medical Dude
God of All Things IT
 
Posts: 70000
Joined: Thu Nov 23, 2006 8:22 pm
Location: Potsdam, Germany

Re: A Lonely Lament

Postby Lance » Mon Mar 25, 2013 7:55 pm

I think it was a joke. I'm not sure, but I think so based on the forum it's in.

Damn it, I was quite moved.
No trees were killed in the posting of this message.
However, a large number of electrons were terribly inconvenienced.

==========================================

Build a man a fire and he will be warm for a few hours.
Set a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life.
User avatar
Lance
Administrator
Administrator
Cheeseburger Swilling Lard-Ass who needs to put down the remote and get off the couch.
 
Posts: 91392
Joined: Thu May 12, 2005 5:51 pm
Location: Oswego, IL

Re: A Lonely Lament

Postby Lianachan » Mon Mar 25, 2013 11:57 pm

Err, yes, it was indeed a joke. I can't play the bagpipes. The protagonist of the joke has not gone to the funeral, he's turned up where workmen were installing a septic tank.
A-nis bidh fios aig daoine nuair a tha mi a 'mionnachadh aig dhaibh.
User avatar
Lianachan
Enlightened One
Enlightened One
Tits and Nazis though.... Worth investigating
 
Posts: 8742
Joined: Fri Mar 05, 2010 5:12 pm
Location: A' Ghàidhealtachd, Alba

Re: A Lonely Lament

Postby Мастер » Tue Mar 26, 2013 1:20 am

Lianachan wrote:Err, yes, it was indeed a joke. I can't play the bagpipes. The protagonist of the joke has not gone to the funeral, he's turned up where workmen were installing a septic tank.


FWIW, I got it :)
They call me Mr Celsius!
User avatar
Мастер
Moderator
Moderator
Злой Мудак
Mauerspecht
 
Posts: 23929
Joined: Tue Aug 02, 2005 2:56 pm
Location: Far from Damascus

Re: A Lonely Lament

Postby Enzo » Tue Mar 26, 2013 5:38 am

Lament not, I got it too. Bringing humor and sepsis together is a vanishing art.
E Pluribus Condom
User avatar
Enzo
Enlightened One
Enlightened One
Chortling with glee!
 
Posts: 11956
Joined: Thu Feb 23, 2006 5:30 am
Location: Lansing, Michigan

Re: A Lonely Lament

Postby Arneb » Tue Mar 26, 2013 6:33 pm

Well, I guess I am easily impressed - and a not too careful reader... :oops:

I only got it now, after everyone else rubbed my nose in it :grin:
Non sunt multiplicanda entia praeter necessitatem
User avatar
Arneb
Moderator
Moderator
German Medical Dude
God of All Things IT
 
Posts: 70000
Joined: Thu Nov 23, 2006 8:22 pm
Location: Potsdam, Germany

Re: A Lonely Lament

Postby tubeswell » Tue Mar 26, 2013 11:14 pm

Now that you have admitted that, I can say that I knew that it was a joke from the beginning. ;-)
A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station.

If you are seeing an apparent paradox, that means you are missing something.
User avatar
tubeswell
Enlightened One
Enlightened One
 
Posts: 324860
Joined: Sun Sep 19, 2010 11:51 am
Location: 129th in-line to the Llama Throne (after the last purge)

Re: A Lonely Lament

Postby Blue Monster 65 » Wed Mar 27, 2013 1:05 am

A joke?

I don't get it ...
Is there such a thing?
User avatar
Blue Monster 65
Puppet Master
Puppet Master
 
Posts: 3088
Joined: Mon Jul 30, 2007 2:50 am
Location: Down In the Lab ...

Re: A Lonely Lament

Postby Enzo » Wed Mar 27, 2013 5:00 am

Don't worry about it, jokes are just things people with senses of humor say to each other.
E Pluribus Condom
User avatar
Enzo
Enlightened One
Enlightened One
Chortling with glee!
 
Posts: 11956
Joined: Thu Feb 23, 2006 5:30 am
Location: Lansing, Michigan

Re: A Lonely Lament

Postby Blue Monster 65 » Wed Mar 27, 2013 11:31 am

I've got a couple of things to say to you ...
Is there such a thing?
User avatar
Blue Monster 65
Puppet Master
Puppet Master
 
Posts: 3088
Joined: Mon Jul 30, 2007 2:50 am
Location: Down In the Lab ...

Re: A Lonely Lament

Postby Enzo » Wed Mar 27, 2013 2:09 pm

Oh yeah? 19....



BWAHAHAHAHA
E Pluribus Condom
User avatar
Enzo
Enlightened One
Enlightened One
Chortling with glee!
 
Posts: 11956
Joined: Thu Feb 23, 2006 5:30 am
Location: Lansing, Michigan

Re: A Lonely Lament

Postby Enzo » Wed Mar 27, 2013 2:11 pm

Y'see.....

A reporter went in to a prison to to report on conditions there. He was standing in the chow hall, next to a guard. All the prisoners were silently eating their grub.

All of a sudden one of the prisoners shouted “24!”. All of the other prisoners started to laugh.
A minute later another prisoner shouted “77!”. Once again, the other prisoners laughed .
The reporter was a little puzzled by this, so he asked the guard about it.

The guard explained that it was against the rules to tell jokes in the chow hall. So, the prisoners assigned numbers to all the jokes they knew. When someone shouted a number, everyone would be reminded of the joke, and laugh.
The reporter thought that was pretty cool, so he decided to try it out for himself.

“37!”, he shouted... Silence. Blank stares.

“Some people just can’t tell a joke”, said the guard
E Pluribus Condom
User avatar
Enzo
Enlightened One
Enlightened One
Chortling with glee!
 
Posts: 11956
Joined: Thu Feb 23, 2006 5:30 am
Location: Lansing, Michigan

Re: A Lonely Lament

Postby Lance » Wed Mar 27, 2013 2:13 pm

lol
No trees were killed in the posting of this message.
However, a large number of electrons were terribly inconvenienced.

==========================================

Build a man a fire and he will be warm for a few hours.
Set a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life.
User avatar
Lance
Administrator
Administrator
Cheeseburger Swilling Lard-Ass who needs to put down the remote and get off the couch.
 
Posts: 91392
Joined: Thu May 12, 2005 5:51 pm
Location: Oswego, IL

Re: A Lonely Lament

Postby Мастер » Wed Mar 27, 2013 2:25 pm

Enzo wrote: All of a sudden one of the prisoners shouted “24!”.


This was the point at which I knew what the joke was going to be :)
They call me Mr Celsius!
User avatar
Мастер
Moderator
Moderator
Злой Мудак
Mauerspecht
 
Posts: 23929
Joined: Tue Aug 02, 2005 2:56 pm
Location: Far from Damascus


Return to Toys-Я-Us

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest

cron