Illuminati-R-Us

Ketchup, mustard and onions. No omissions, no substitutions.

Heid the Ba' wrote:Ketchup, mustard and onions. No omissions, no substitutions.

Apart from the ketchup. On no account must that be allowed near a hot dog. The onions must be soggy and disappointing, and the mustard should either be the kind of English mustard that instantly incinerates your nose, or that awful squeezy American stuff.

Heresy. The onions must be the roasted, of the cheap, heavily salted type that tastes like an onion ring that fell into the chips frying fat in the morning and was fished out at 10 pm. Also, the mustard must not taste of anything but saring hotness. The tepid fatty non-taste is cared for by the remoulade sauce that MUST contain unidentifiable bits of plant matter that taste of absolutely nothing at all.

A Danish polse with an orange plastic skin is preferable to anything else, however, as these wapons of mass destruction are prohibited outside Denmark, anything that tastes only of fat and nitrate salt with a neutral skin is admissable under the Laws of the Hot Dog.

You people are vile.

I have no words for my feeling of desolation amid this cesspool of sin!

Repent!

Arneb wrote:I have no words for my feeling of desolation amid this cesspool of sin!

Repent!

I will pray for you.

Lunch at last Saturday's Cub Scout winter camp-out: boiled hot dogs served on a bun and drowned in ketchup.

I had two.

MM_Dandy wrote:Lunch at last Saturday's Cub Scout winter camp-out: boiled hot dogs served on a bun and drowned in ketchup.

I had two.

I think normal food rules don't apply when camping, so you'll probably be alright.

Arneb wrote:Heresy. The onions must be the roasted, of the cheap, heavily salted type that tastes like an onion ring that fell into the chips frying fat in the morning and was fished out at 10 pm. Also, the mustard must not taste of anything but saring hotness. The tepid fatty non-taste is cared for by the remoulade sauce that MUST contain unidentifiable bits of plant matter that taste of absolutely nothing at all.

A Danish polse with an orange plastic skin is preferable to anything else, however, as these wapons of mass destruction are prohibited outside Denmark, anything that tastes only of fat and nitrate salt with a neutral skin is admissable under the Laws of the Hot Dog.

That sounds far too nice, and may suit your fancy eurosausages which are made out of meat. The ones I'm talking about are made from squirrels, the elbow skin from rats, and recycled leather seats from old sports cars.

MM_Dandy wrote:Lunch at last Saturday's Cub Scout winter camp-out: boiled hot dogs served on a bun and drowned in ketchup.

I had two.

Outside camping? In winter? Or was it in huts? On a culinary level, I have no problem with this.

Camping is to things culinary what carnival is to dresscode and ettiquette.

Especially concerning beer.

Heid the Ba' wrote:

MM_Dandy wrote:Lunch at last Saturday's Cub Scout winter camp-out: boiled hot dogs served on a bun and drowned in ketchup.

I had two.

Outside camping? In winter? Or was it in huts? On a culinary level, I have no problem with this.

Full disclosure: it was not outside. Cub scouts (boys 6-12) and their parents communally boarded in a large cabin. It isn't insulated, but it isn't terribly drafty and heated by a wood-burning stove. The temperature inside the cabin probably fluctuated anywhere between 45-60 degrees F The local Boy Scout troop (12+) also camped, but had to sleep in tents. Everybody set up Friday evening, and we "broke" camp at lunchtime on Saturday. The overnight low was around 10 F and we had a light dusting of snow; the high on Saturday was something like 25 F. The campsite is in the bottom of a tree-filled draw, which helped keep the wind chill reasonable. At any rate, while outside, we were usually busy doing something: sledding, hiking, sledding, etc. The most important part was that the boys had fun, and no one was hurt.

Sounds like an excellent weekend!

I'm beginning to feel Matcep's pain and frustration with America. As Nietzsche said (and as Nazi Germany proved) whole peoples are much more likely to go crazy than single persons.

Arneb wrote:As Nietzsche said (and as Nazi Germany proved) whole peoples are much more likely to go crazy than single persons.

Are you saying all of Germany likes ketchup on hot dogs? That IS crazy. I assumed it was just you.

Nietzsche was such a warm fuzzy guy. This one has stuck with me the last 50 years:

You can’t compare yourself with others: if Nature has made you a bat you shouldn’t try to be an ostrich.

Lance wrote:<A funny picture about hotdogs, ketchup, and Chicago.>

Aren't you something like 20 minutes outside Chicago city limits?

From here "Chicago" includes Illinois, Iowa, Parts of Minnesota and only doesn't include Wisconsin because I'm a Packers fan.

MM_Dandy wrote:

Lance wrote:<A funny picture about hotdogs, ketchup, and Chicago.>

Aren't you something like 20 minutes outside Chicago city limits?

A bit more than that. Probably half an hour depending on traffic. The train gets us to the middle of down-town in about 45 minutes but it gets to go 70mph.

Heid the Ba' wrote:From here "Chicago" includes Illinois, Iowa, Parts of Minnesota and only doesn't include Wisconsin because I'm a Packers fan.

Since the Packers no longer play in Milwaukee anymore, Chicago extends into Wisconsin up through Racine.

Burger King is adding hot dogs to their menu. The standard toppings are going to be relish, chopped onions, mustard and ketchup. Now, it is Burger King, which claims that you can always have their hot dog any way you like, but you'll have to ask them to hold the ketchup.

Ah, good might yet prevail. Bad enough you can get a ketchup-less hotdog there at all, but at least the apostate has to utter the abomination himself.

On those rare occasions I eat a McDonalds product, I find the predominant taste in a McDonald hamburger is indeed the ketchup.

Enzo wrote:On those rare occasions I eat a McDonalds product, I find the predominant taste in a McDonald hamburger is indeed the ketchup.

That's probably a good thing, in that example.

MM_Dandy wrote:Burger King is adding hot dogs to their menu. The standard toppings are going to be relish, chopped onions, mustard and ketchup. Now, it is Burger King, which claims that you can always have their hot dog any way you like, but you'll have to ask them to hold the ketchup.

Having something your way does not make it the right way. After all, people still believe in acupuncture and homeopathy.

True. To even offer a ketchup-less Hot Dog gets you a 100,000 extra years in Purgatory, IF you don't qualify for Hell right away.