Save the Llamalope

[teri tait]

Hey Boss, I noticed you have been hunting the gentle and beautiful llamalope lately. I feel it is my duty to inform you that I am President of the Llamalope Preservation Society.
The LPS has coordinated a safety net to protect the llamalope from poachers such as yourself. I'm afraid you shall never find this safe wildlife preserve. You should give up the hunt now, before we feel the need to dispatch a counter-attack.

P.S.
I hope this doesn't undermine my status as a devoted minion...its so hard to find a decent Boss these days...

[Lance]

Oh, sheesh!

My mistake. Let me fix that...

There, is that better?

I never meant to infer I wanted to hurt the llamalope. It's my llamalope that got frightened away when a big truck used excessively loud engine-breaking going down the hill that leads away from the castle. I just want him back home, safe and sound.

The dragon has been circling overhead looking for him and the wulf is trying to pick up his scent. We all just want him back safe.

Did you miss the memo? It's on the refrigerator door.

[pmcolt]

What's this about the kind, gentle Llamalope now? I represent CANTALOUPE, the Citizens Against Nature's Terrible Animal, Llamalope. And for your information, our society's name doesn't fit our acronym because our founder was trampled to death by a rampaging llamalope before he could finish naming our organization.

The Llamalope is a menace to nature-loving citizens everywhere. Why, according to the Bureau of Statistical Doctoring, zero people have ever faced a wild llamalope at close range and lived to tell about it. The feeding and mating habits of this creature are disruptive not only to hikers, park rangers, and campers, but also to other wildlife and most vegetation.

I must caution you that little is known about llamalope herding behavior, and must recommend that you not allow them to congregate in your wildlife preserve. Should the llamalope population reach a certain critical mass, there's no telling what damage they could do.

[teri tait]

Oh, sheesh!

My mistake. Let me fix that...

There, is that better?

I never meant to infer I wanted to hurt the llamalope. It's my llamalope that got frightened away when a big truck used excessively loud engine-breaking going down the hill that leads away from the castle. I just want him back home, safe and sound.

The dragon has been circling overhead looking for him and the wulf is trying to pick up his scent. We all just want him back safe.

Did you miss the memo? It's on the refrigerator door.

OK, that's much better. You had me worried for a moment. I did not get the memo but I did find a burned scrap of paper on the kitchen floor. It looks like Dragon Star had another sneezing fit and seared the outside of the refridgerator. Damn his hayfever!!!
OK, the llamalope is currently participating in the fertilization program. He's pretty busy but I should be able to bring him back to his regular llamalope grazing grounds soon.

[teri tait]

What's this about the kind, gentle Llamalope now? I represent CANTALOUPE, the Citizens Against Nature's Terrible Animal, Llamalope. And for your information, our society's name doesn't fit our acronym because our founder was trampled to death by a rampaging llamalope before he could finish naming our organization.

The Llamalope is a menace to nature-loving citizens everywhere. Why, according to the Bureau of Statistical Doctoring, zero people have ever faced a wild llamalope at close range and lived to tell about it. The feeding and mating habits of this creature are disruptive not only to hikers, park rangers, and campers, but also to other wildlife and most vegetation.

I must caution you that little is known about llamalope herding behavior, and must recommend that you not allow them to congregate in your wildlife preserve. Should the llamalope population reach a certain critical mass, there's no telling what damage they could do.

Your founder was obviously getting a little too friendly with the mighty llamalope. The llamalope a menace?!? Oh when will the madness end? The llamalope is indigenous to this area and therefore does not disrupt the food chain or the other herd animals.
The llamalope dung is a necessary ingredient to the local flora! Why without it, we would not have the lovely purple sage! Or the delightful and rare rose trees!
If hikers and campers would stop trying to get a picture standing or even sitting on the wild llamalopes, there would be far less casualties. Why I once saw a small child try to hit our gentle llamalope with a pointy stick that very well could have poked his adorable eye! I could do nothing but applaud when he trampled the tot.
Just remember pmcolt, a llamalope never forgets. They'll be watching you...

[umop ap!sdn]

It's my llamalope that got frightened away when a big truck used excessively loud engine-breaking going down the hill that leads away from the castle.

Tell 'em hey, lay off the jake brake! :D

I represent CANTALOUPE, the Citizens Against Nature's Terrible Animal, Llamalope. And for your information, our society's name doesn't fit our acronym because our founder was trampled to death by a rampaging llamalope before he could finish naming our organization.

So youse are the CANTAL then? :P

[teri tait]

They're a dangerous fringe group Umop, only one letter away from being catalope haters! Hide your petalopes!!!!

[Dragon Star]

It looks like Dragon Star had another sneezing fit and seared the outside of the refridgerator.

Um...about that, er...sorry?

*Gets a new fridge*

[Lance]

pmcolt;

Picture this in your mind's eye:

You are wearing your big, fluffy robe and sitting deeply in your over stuffed chair in front of a roaring dragon-fire. Your wulf is curled up on your feet keeping them warm while your minion, sitting just to your left, feeds you peeled, seedless grapes. And your llamalope gently tucks his antlers behind you on your right side and softly scratches your back.

What could be better?

[Dragon Star]

pmcolt;

Picture this in your mind's eye:

You are wearing your big, fluffy robe and sitting deeply in your over stuffed chair in front of a roaring dragon-fire. Your wulf is curled up on your feet keeping them warm while your minion, sitting just to your left, feeds you peeled, seedless grapes. And your llamalope gently tucks his antlers behind you on your right side and softly scratches your back.

What could be better?

You forgot the beer in your hand?

[Lance]

You forgot the beer in your hand?

Beer and grapes?

Maybe a nice sherry... Ahhh...

[pmcolt]

So youse are the CANTAL then? :P

Nope. Our founder had our logo and letterhead all drawn up as "CANTALOUPE". But as he was innocently sitting in our Bullmoose Lodge, writing out his first proclamation of exactly what CANTALOUPE stood for, a llamalope crashed through the window, trampled him, and stole his watch.

It was later determined that the llamalope in question caught the outline of his moose-hat through the window, and, it being mating season... Fortunately, the rest of the Bullmoose lodge members were able to escape. It took weeks before the cabin had aired out enough for hazmat teams to move in and begin cleaning up the llamalope dung from the broken and smashed bits of furniture, and by then, the purple sage pollen had permanently contaminated much of the interior.

These llamalopes are dangerous creatures. They were hunted nearly to extinction to protect the indigenous, endangered forest voles, which are trampled to death by the thousands as the llamalopes migrate south for spring break. Only these radical fringe environmentalists seek to protect them at our expense.

[Lance]

Watch stealing llamalopes?

I'm sorry, but I don't believe a word of that.

[MM_Dandy]

Oh, no!

It's that rascawy wamawope!

heh eh eh eh eh...

[teri tait]

So youse are the CANTAL then? :P

Nope. Our founder had our logo and letterhead all drawn up as "CANTALOUPE". But as he was innocently sitting in our Bullmoose Lodge, writing out his first proclamation of exactly what CANTALOUPE stood for, a llamalope crashed through the window, trampled him, and stole his watch.

It was later determined that the llamalope in question caught the outline of his moose-hat through the window, and, it being mating season... Fortunately, the rest of the Bullmoose lodge members were able to escape. It took weeks before the cabin had aired out enough for hazmat teams to move in and begin cleaning up the llamalope dung from the broken and smashed bits of furniture, and by then, the purple sage pollen had permanently contaminated much of the interior.

These llamalopes are dangerous creatures. They were hunted nearly to extinction to protect the indigenous, endangered forest voles, which are trampled to death by the thousands as the llamalopes migrate south for spring break. Only these radical fringe environmentalists seek to protect them at our expense.

Oh yeah? I see you forgot to mention how you 'LOUPERS use ground up llamalope horns for your weird sex rituals!
Besides, that Moose Lodge was already condemned and scheduled for demolition. The only thing worthwhile was the purple sage!

[teri tait]

It looks like Dragon Star had another sneezing fit and seared the outside of the refridgerator.

Um...about that, er...sorry?

*Gets a new fridge*

Hey thanks Dragon Star! You don't have to worry about the fridge and stuff like that. I got dragon insurance when Lance adopted you :)

[Lance]

Get the receipt from him and go ahead and file the claim, Teri. They should reimburse you and you can pay Dragon Star back.

[Dragon Star]

Don't worry about the money, I sto....

Found it.

[pmcolt]

Hey, my refrigerator money's gone!

[Dragon Star]

Hey, my refrigerator money's gone!

*Gives some of my precious booty to pmcolt*

[teri tait]

Get the receipt from him and go ahead and file the claim, Teri. They should reimburse you and you can pay Dragon Star back.

Sure thing Boss. I already got the receipt since I had to sign for the delivery. I'll cut a check for Dragon Star right away. :)
Dragon Star bought a deluxe model with exterior flame resistance coating. Such a good dragon we have!

[teri tait]

Hey, my refrigerator money's gone!

*Gives some of my precious booty to pmcolt*

Don't give him any booty, he'll just use it to further his evil llamalope kill campaign!

[Dragon Star]

Hey, my refrigerator money's gone!

*Gives some of my precious booty to pmcolt*

Don't give him any booty, he'll just use it to further his evil llamalope kill campaign!

Now Teri, do you ever think that a Dragon would ever give up his booty? No No No, I just stole it from another dragon and gave it to him. :P

[teri tait]

Hey, my refrigerator money's gone!

*Gives some of my precious booty to pmcolt*

Don't give him any booty, he'll just use it to further his evil llamalope kill campaign!

Now Teri, do you ever think that a Dragon would ever give up his booty? No No No, I just stole it from another dragon and gave it to him. :P

Well, he's still going to use it for his reign of terror against llamalopes. Maybe you sure just roast him to a fiery crisp instead. That would solve the problem nicely.

[Dragon Star]

Hey, my refrigerator money's gone!

*Gives some of my precious booty to pmcolt*

Don't give him any booty, he'll just use it to further his evil llamalope kill campaign!

Now Teri, do you ever think that a Dragon would ever give up his booty? No No No, I just stole it from another dragon and gave it to him. :P

Well, he's still going to use it for his reign of terror against llamalopes. Maybe you sure just roast him to a fiery crisp instead. That would solve the problem nicely.

Ok fine...

*Takes back the booty*

Sorry PM, but you can't use the booty because of your anti llamalope POV.