What sports teams do you support?

[Lance]

I'm fine as long as I don't have to actually watch it.

[MM_Dandy]

Oh, you'd probably not want to listen to it, either.

...or do you mean the movie?

Edit: South Korea needs more than just a win against Belgium, they need to beat them by at least 3 goals if Russia beats Algeria by a maximum score of 1-0. If Russia and Algeria tie or if Russia wins by more than 1 goal, then the Korean Republic needs to win by 4 or more!

[Lianachan]

America!
America!

America, fuck yeah!
Comin' again to save the mother fuckin' day yeah!
America, fuck yeah!
Freedom is the only way yeah!

Terrorists your game is through, 'cause now you have to answer to...
America, fuck yeah!
So lick my butt and suck on my balls!
America, fuck yeah!
Whatcha gonna do when we come for you now?

It's the dream that we all share
It's the hope for tomorrow! Fuck yeah.

Mcdonalds, fuck yeah!
Wal-mart, fuck yeah!
The Gap, fuck yeah!
Baseball, fuck yeah!
The NFL, fuck yeah!
Rock and roll, fuck yeah!
The internet, fuck yeah!
Slavery, fuck yeah!

Fuck yeah!

Starbucks, fuck yeah!
Disney world, fuck yeah!
Porno, fuck yeah!
Valium, fuck yeah!
Reeboks, fuck yeah!;

Fake tits, fuck yeah!
Sushi, fuck yeah!
Taco bell, fuck yeah!
Rodeos, fuck yeah!
Bed bath and beyond, fuck yeah? (fuck yeah?)

Liberty, fuck yeah!
Wax lips, fuck yeah!
The Alamo, fuck yeah!
Bandaids, fuck yeah!

Las Vegas, fuck yeah!
Christmas, fuck yeah!
Immigrants, fuck yeah!
Pop-eye, fuck yeah!

Democrats, fuck yeah!
Republicans, fuck yeah?
Sportsmanship, fuck yeah?
Books...

Having said that, I'm afraid I'll be supporting Deutschland.

[Heid the Ba]

I think I have found my new beverage for watching sports, from the journal of a Scot visiting the Sikh king in the 1830s:

"raw spirit, crushed pearls, musk, opium, gravy and spices"

two glasses were reputed to be enough for anyone.

[Arneb]

Deut schland, deut schland, deut schland, deut schland... But here's what will happen.

[Мастер]

In preparation for our glorious victory over the sinister forces, I'll be listening to the Captain America soundtrack.

Eh? You are the sinister forces.

Update: I don't know how unusual it is, but I just noticed that none of the eight teams playing today have yet to be eliminated. South Korea needs the earth to open up and swallow the Belgium team and then needs help, but they are still technically alive.

Of the eight, Belgium is sure to advance, but it is not know yet whether that will be as the winner or runner up of the group.

[Мастер]

WTF?

[MM_Dandy]

WTF?

Would that be in response to Ghana's own goal?

Anyway, at the half of each game, Germany-USA is 0-0, and Portugal leads Ghana 1-0. There is still a 4 goal difference between the US and Portugal in goal differential, but Germany doesn't seem as ready to settle for a draw as the US at this point.

[Мастер]

WTF?

Would that be in response to Ghana's own goal?

No, it was Germany's lacklustre performance against the forces of darkness.

[Мастер]

OK, that's more like it!

The Chinese announcer became very excited there. I have no idea what he was saying.

[MM_Dandy]

Thomas Müller puts Germany up - but! - Ghana draws even with Portugal!

Edit: I'd better be careful, here. A Ghana/Portugal draw is a good thing - but Ghana scoring is not.

[Мастер]

So that means 'Schland and Portugal between them have about thirty minutes each to outscore their opponents by a combined four goals, right?

[MM_Dandy]

That would get Portugal in. Ghana only needs two goals to surpass the US.
Edit: If Ghana does score once more, and no other goals are scored in either match, the US still gets in on the head-to-head tiebreaker.
Edit PS: Or not - it's a moot point with Portugal's score, but after a second look, Ghana would have led in goals scored, I think.

[Мастер]

Ah. For some reason I was thinking Portugal and Ghana were even up.

[MM_Dandy]

Ugh, my maths stinks

With the scores as they are now (about the 88' in both matches), this is how the points/goal differential/goals scored will look if no more goals are scored in either match:
US 4/0/4
Portugal 4/-3/4
Ghana 1/-2/4

If Ghana scores twice more, and no other goals are scored in either match, they'll end up with 4 points, a net of 0 goal differential, but 6 goals scored - putting them in, and leaving the US out.

[MM_Dandy]

Full Time in both matches. We lost - but manage to back in to the knockout round, anyway.
Edit:
So the group ends this way, as far as I can tell-

Code: Select all

 
          Pts|GD|GF
Germany    07|+5|07
USA        04|00|04
Portugal   04|-3|04
Ghana      01|-2|04

[Мастер]

So I take it the US is in as the second-place finisher in the group?

[Мастер]

Yep, 'Schland came up short :(

[Arneb]

Yep, 'Schland came up short :(

I politely disagree

I can never get over those American fans. They were as friendly and well-behaved as anyone else, but I saw them sporting fake Pilgrim Father beards, hold up scarfs with "Land of the Free", "One Nation, under God", or "In God We Trust". I mean, come ON, it's not like someone is threatening your national honour! It. Is. Just. Football. As we say over her, don't you have it one size smaller...?

[Мастер]

hold up scarfs with "Land of the Free"

And everyone says it is North Koreans who are brainwashed . . .

[Lance]

We lost, but we still go on? WTF is up with THAT?

See? That's why Soccer sux. In the good-ole US of A, you lose, you go home. It's as simple as that?

This is like kiddie T-Ball or something. "It's okay that you lost, Little Johnny. You did GOOD anyway."

Sheesh!

Just about the time I decide to pay attention, attention gets expensive.

[MM_Dandy]

The US will likely face Belgium, so that's probably as far as we go.

[Мастер]

We lost, but we still go on? WTF is up with THAT?

The top two teams from each group (so 50% of the teams) advance to the knock-out stage.

In the good-ole US of A

Not familiar with any such country.

you lose, you go home. It's as simple as that?

I have watched 'merkin teams uncorking champagne after losing a match, because they lost by less than X points, and therefore advanced to the playoffs.

So I can't agree that 'merkin sports have quite as simple a system as you claim.

Just about the time I decide to pay attention, attention gets expensive.

We can hope for Belgium to administer justice in a few days.

[Arneb]

We lost, but we still go on? WTF is up with THAT?

Get over it. You didn'T need those points anymore, that's all. If the Chicago Skunks are ten points ahead of place nine of the Northern Conference with four days of play to go, then, yeah, losing stinks, but they still make it to the play-offs. How does that stink?

[MM_Dandy]

I think we may be taking the llama-king a little too seriously, guys.

At any rate: Go South Korea! A win (very unlikely) by the Korean Republic could, with a little help from Algeria or a lot of help from Russia, potentially bump Belgium to the runner-up spot, and into the same side of the knockout bracket as Germany and Brazil.