What sports teams do you support?

[Heid the Ba]

That would be a short Corsican.

As for who said "Fucking useless worthless cunting bastarding cunting worthless fucking cunting twatslapping fisting tittyfucking arse fisting cuntybawbagging twatting fanny shitting arse titting fannytwatting badgerhatting arsetitting fitba' team that I will always support despite every useless titting fucking cunting bawbag thing that they cunting do."

That would be me. 4 - 0 to the fucking Dirty Hibees. Oh I am not happy.

[tubeswell]

Blow by Blow

[Heid the Ba]

All very well but do they ever reduce you to profanity?

[Arneb]

"Fucking useless worthless cunting bastarding cunting worthless fucking cunting twatslapping fisting tittyfucking arse fisting cuntybawbagging twatting fanny shitting arse titting fannytwatting badgerhatting arsetitting fitba' team that I will always support despite every useless titting fucking cunting bawbag thing that they cunting do."

Yep, that. My brother-in-law, someone who suffers this affliction with the glorious 1. Fußballclub (FC) Nürnberg (aka "der Club", with Club pronounced "gloobb" in the Franconian dialect), another team famous for fucking up almost every single fucking time, tried to build bridges for Christmas, giving me "111 reasons to love Hertha" as a Christmas present. I appreciate his fairness, all the more so since mysself I couldn't come with even ten reasons in a lifetime.

[tubeswell]

Sri Lanka aren't exactly collapsing very fast at this point in the innings.

[Heid the Ba]

Meanwhile in der Arnebhaus:
Young Master Arneb: Papa, what do you do online?
Arneb: I discuss politics and sport with friends and improve my English.
Later . . .
Young Master Arneb: Mama! What does "cunting twatslapping fisting tittyfucking arse" mean?
Mama Arneb: I have no idea, where did you hear that?
Young Master Arneb: But Mama you're a teacher, you know everything . . .

I apologise for my language yesterday, a combination of my fuckbuggering fitba' team and inlaws. I'm home now after another stand up, knock down shouting match this morning. Cunts the lot of them.

[Heid the Ba]

I appreciate his fairness, all the more so since mysself I couldn't come with even ten reasons in a lifetime.

You have to give him points for trying, he means well. And 10? That is more than I can find.

[Heid the Ba]

Oh, cunting cuntery with a cunty cuntworthy sauce on top of a cunty cunt thing. Rodgers is injured.

[Heid the Ba]

In other news, the Lankans have followed on and are now ahead, the Black Caps need wickets.

[tubeswell]

dammit.

[Arneb]

Meanwhile in der Arnebhaus:
Young Master Arneb: Papa, what do you do online?
Arneb: I discuss politics and sport with friends and improve my English.
Later . . .
Young Master Arneb: Mama! What does "cunting twatslapping fisting tittyfucking arse" mean?
Mama Arneb: I have no idea, where did you hear that?
Young Master Arneb: But Mama you're a teacher, you know everything . . .

I apologise for my language yesterday, a combination of my fuckbuggering fitba' team and inlaws. I'm home now after another stand up, knock down shouting match this morning. Cunts the lot of them.

Just to win the nitpicker of of the day award, It's im or, if you must, in dem Arnebhaus. because it's das Haus - neutrum.

I don't mind your language at all. I've seen enough well behaved young colleagues with immaculate coiffure rising predictably on promising academic trajectories be reduced to staggering koprolalistic shouting figures to know that that's what a bad performance by your fitba team will do to you.

Was the Memsahib at least duly proud of you for valiantly fighting against your stupid in-law cunts?

[tubeswell]

NZ by 8 wickets! Well played Sri Lanka!

[Heid the Ba]

Just to win the nitpicker of of the day award, It's im or, if you must, in dem Arnebhaus. because it's das Haus - neutrum.

I knew I would get that wrong.

Was the Memsahib at least duly proud of you for valiantly fighting against your stupid in-law cunts?

It is a fight now in its fourth decade and one that will continue until there is only one side left standing. I don't care what they think of me, and we fight about many things, but when they start on the Mem then the gloves come off. Her parents are retired and live most of the year in Spain avoiding any and all responsibilities for family in the UK, which they are trying to dump onto the Memsahib while telling her that she works too hard and that her house is untidy.

[Мастер]

I knew I would get that wrong.

You can run them by me first. I make a lot of mistakes, but I would have gotten that one right :)

[Arneb]

t is a fight now in its fourth decade and one that will continue until there is only one side left standing. I don't care what they think of me, and we fight about many things, but when they start on the Mem then the gloves come off. Her parents are retired and live most of the year in Spain avoiding any and all responsibilities for family in the UK, which they are trying to dump onto the Memsahib while telling her that she works too hard and that her house is untidy.

Well, then I'd say they don't deserve better. Carry the bruises on your knuckles with pride!

[Heid the Ba]

1872 Cup Edinburgh -v- Glasgow and we are now ahead on aggregate.

I seem to have lost a post but: VISSER ! Our dutchman is fucking you like a fucky thing. As is Baby Rhino our player from Zim.

Unrelatedly we are in black, they are in white, so the openly gay referee is wearing pink . . . I have no idea why.

[Heid the Ba]

VISSER! Our dyke-fingering cloggie is better than anything you have. Tim Visser is Dutch born and bred but has lived in Scotland long enough to qualify as Scottish.

With apologies to FCDHD for nicking their best player.

[Heid the Ba]

Get it right up ye! I am torn between supporting the city of my birth against the city I have lived in for nearly 30 years but get it right up ye. We weren't supposed to win but fronted up and beat them one on one. Think Cleveland handing the Steelers their arse in a Playoff game. Every Scotland international player they had was blown off the ball by our club guys,

Baby Rhino hammered everyone with the ball, our scrum fronted up and Visser ran hard and straight, oh we're going to drink . . .

[Heid the Ba]

Oh we're drinking . . .

[Heid the Ba]

Peter Wright, a former Scottish prop is heading downtown to find Glasgow fans to pick fights. He is a BBC commentator.

[Heid the Ba]

I should perhaps have mentioned Peter Wright used to play for Edinburgh and has absolutely no common sense. But fuck them, fuck them all.

I have met Peter Wright and when he is not completely mental, as we both are tonight, he is actually a sensible guy.

[Arneb]

Errr.. I guess this is rugby?

[Heid the Ba]

Yes, rugby. Union to be precise but rugby and we have lived with Glasgow's shit for too many years and now we have beaten them tonight and on aggregate I think we can celebrate.

[Arneb]

Oho, yes, you go celebrating! Tu le mérites.

[Heid the Ba]

I have just realised why Arneb is so mellow just now, the Bundesliga has a winter break until the end of this month.