Illuminati-R-Us

Well, duh. Didn't you see the halo above my head? How would a vampire have that?

Oh dearie me, did you see that howler by the keeper?

Get it up ye!

Oh dearie me 2. That will be two howlers by their keeper, 2 nil to the good guys.

You do know, don't you, that we are a nation of goalkeeper giants?

Er yes, that was what I meant to say . . .

Bremen 1 - 0 Rangers.

Ahhhh, the pain.

And now up against sporting Lisbon, another team that plays in green, our inevitable march to the Uefa Cuip continues . . .

We did win the league cup yesterday, but that doesn't count for much.

Just wait until you encounter terrible Bayern Munich, which errrm, where, humm just defeated at home by, what was it, Anderlecht, and, ah well, away at Cottbus, bottom of the league.

But against Rangers, they will absolutely play their best again. No really! I mean, they have Ribéry (just coincidence that he failed to score from the spot this Saturday), and they have Toni, who will certainly crash to the ground in the penalty area as soon as a Glaswegian so much as approaches him!

Just you wait.

Yes, Bayern are the classy team left in. We can beat Sporting then it is Eindhoven or Fiorentina. Then the final :D

We played Italy a couple of months ago so we know exactly how unstable Toni is!

From an earlier post:

"Our cunning plan is the same again: a nil all draw at home in the first leg, then nick a goal away. Make a two leg game a 20 minute shootout. "

We're screwed in a one off final.

Switzerland 0 - 4 Germany
Austria 3 - 4 Netherlands
Scotland 1 - 1 Croatia
Poland 0 - 3 US of A

Members of Germany's First round Euro 2008 group are bolded. What a nice evening... 8)

Croatia looked classy but not very interested, we were workmanlike. Nothing to worry your lot.

U.S.A! U.S.A! U.S.A! U.S.A!

U.S.A! U.S.A! U.S.A! U.S.A!



maybe I can become a soccer hooligan...

Now might be the time Enzo, modern soccer hooligans don't look like you expect them to.

Old Firm game this weekend, if we win it we are well on the way to winning the league, a draw would be ok. Of course the people who cause trouble at Old Firm games look exactly like you expect.

Bayern 1 - 1 Getafe
Leverkusen 1 - 4 St. Petersburg.
Schalke 0 - 1 Barcelona

They give me the fucking creeps, our super strong, fighting-hero, kick-away-at-all-of-Europe's-butts German football SISSIES!

Bayern could struggle, it was a bad goal to lose.
Neverkusen resorting to type.
Schalke were always going to struggle. All bad home results*.

We looked very ordinary against Sporting, but we always do against better teams at home. In Lisbon next week it will be very different and we still have a chance. Or we will get hosed.


*For those in North America, our convention is home team first, so Bayern at home against Getafe rather than Bayern at Getafe.

Unless expressly marked otherwise, I believe that's the convention, here, too. Edit: Hmmm...it seems that ESPN begs to differ with me.

Although there a couple of venues (Los Angeles in the NBA and New York in the NFL) where the only difference it makes is which locker room the players use.

Benfica 0 - 2 Rangers (Rangers advance on a 2 - 0 aggregate)

The TV commentator here said, "it was in itself quite an achievement that two teams of such spectularly limited abilities should reach the quarterfinals of a European competition. Both were hell-bent in their conviction that scoring goals is not part of the game. Rangers were the team that reneged on that principle first"...

Getafe 3 - 3 Bayern Munich (Bayern advance on a 4 - 4 aggregate and the away goals rule).

Karlheinz Rummenigge, Bayer President and former world-class forward, said: "This time, really, everyone can talk about "Dusel-Bayern" (Blind-luck-Bayern) without blushing"

Zenit St. Petersburg 0 - 1 Leverkusen (Zenit advance on a 4 - 2 aggregate). OK, at least they weren't slaughtered....

PSV Eindhoven 0 - 2 Fiorentina. (Firoentina advance on a 3 - 1 aggregate)Well, as I say, evil (=Italy) always wins, but 'll forgive them if it's against a Dutch team.

We were comfortably the worst team left in the last 8 but we have the happy knack of dragging the opposition down to our level. Long may it continue. :D

Bayern were lucky, even by their standards.

I spent much of my teenage years in Dumfries so was shocked and delighted by this. If Rangers get to the final then win or lose Queens will be in the Uefa Cup.

Heid the Ba' wrote:We were comfortably the worst team left in the last 8 but we have the happy knack of dragging the opposition down to our level. Long may it continue. :D

OK, I'll give you until the Final, although the destruction of Werder Bremen was really hard to bear.

Heid the Ba' wrote:Bayern were lucky, even by their standards.

You see, and that was what made this match such an uncanny experience. I am normally convinced that they will most certainly score the winner sometime - and they very rarely disappoint me there. This time, it was different. I was actually rooting for them (last German team, as always, on the international scene and such), and they didn't seem capable to do anything with the ball. They were positively humiliated by this Spanish suburb club in a stadium housing 16 000. And then suddenly... Eery. Positively weird.

Heid the Ba' wrote:I spent much of my teenage years in Dumfries so was shocked and delighted by this. If Rangers get to the final then win or lose Queens will be in the Uefa Cup.

And the best of luck to you. By the same mechanism, have-beens Borussia Dortmund will resurface next year in the UEFA Cup having won a place in next Saturday's German Cup Final against ... you know who...

Celtic 2 - 1 Rangers. So the Old Firm Derby keeps the championship open up in Scotland, while

Frankfurt 1 - 3 Bayern Munich; makes it rather totally inevitable that Bayern will clinch it this year. "A binocular's view" away from the rest, as Bayern Sports Director, Uli Hoeneß put it.

Arneb wrote:Celtic 2 - 1 Rangers. So the Old Firm Derby keeps the championship open up in Scotland,

The loss is probably less important than the injuries and suspensions. Carlos Cuellar misses the next Old Firm game for a cracking save in the top corner, unfortunately he isn't the goalkeeper . . .

David Weir sent off after the game for fighting and misses this weekends cup semi, the keeper is out for a couple of weeks with an ankle injury, etc. etc.

Bayern do have an air of predictability don't they. Hertha are comfortably midtable, no fear of relegation.

Heid the Ba' wrote:David Weir sent off after the game for fighting and misses this weekends cup semi, the keeper is out for a couple of weeks with an ankle injury, etc. etc.

Forgive me, but that seems like an air of predictability to me... :D

Heid the Ba' wrote:Hertha are comfortably midtable, no fear of relegation.

Not too sure about that one, alas. 7 points above the line, with five matches to go. And they havent't won in something like 6 matches... Normally they should be safely in the "no-man's-land of the table" (as we say here), but you know, they have this uncanny knack of doing the unthinkable.

Arneb wrote:

Heid the Ba' wrote:David Weir sent off after the game for fighting and misses this weekends cup semi, the keeper is out for a couple of weeks with an ankle injury, etc. etc.

Forgive me, but that seems like an air of predictability to me... :D

In the three Old Firm games this season we are up to (I think) 4 sent off and about 16 booked. There is another game next weekend (wednesday's was rescheduled from January) which might even be the title decider so that could end up in a proper riot.

Hertha...snip...haven't won in something like 6 matches... Normally they should be safely in the "no-man's-land of the table" (as we say here), but you know, they have this uncanny knack of doing the unthinkable.

Just keep believing, it will all be all right. Or not.

Liverpool 1 - 1 Chelsea Aw shucks! A last minute equaliser probably ending all dreams for Liverpool. What is it that makes evil always win?