What a Way to Go

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What a Way to Go

Postby Superluminal » Thu Aug 04, 2005 3:02 am

Man dies after sex with horse. :shock:
http://www.news24.com/News24/World/News ... 98,00.html

Darwin award?
I'm not a scientist, but I play one on the internet.
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Postby Мастер » Thu Aug 04, 2005 3:31 am

Yuck. I wonder if it is hard to train the horse to cooperate?

When I visited the International Crane Foundation in Wisconsin, I learned that someone there has the job of jerking off the male cranes so they can artificially inseminate the female cranes. Not a very fun job, I would think. I guess this must be done with horses and bulls and other such animals, unless there is a machine that does it.

Is there a euphemism for it, so you don't have to tell your friends your job is jerking off animals?
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Postby Lance » Thu Aug 04, 2005 6:27 am

No trees were killed in the posting of this message.
However, a large number of electrons were terribly inconvenienced.

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Postby Disinfo Agent » Thu Aug 04, 2005 11:03 am

this was a freak occurance , its perfectly safe usually so dont worry

:lol:
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Postby Mr. Manly » Thu Aug 04, 2005 1:46 pm

All I can say is WHY with a horse? :shock:
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Postby MM_Dandy » Thu Aug 04, 2005 2:50 pm

Khrushchev's Other Shoe wrote:Yuck. I wonder if it is hard to train the horse to cooperate?

When I visited the International Crane Foundation in Wisconsin, I learned that someone there has the job of jerking off the male cranes so they can artificially inseminate the female cranes. Not a very fun job, I would think. I guess this must be done with horses and bulls and other such animals, unless there is a machine that does it.

Is there a euphemism for it, so you don't have to tell your friends your job is jerking off animals?


Yes, KOS, there is a 'machine' that vets use to collect semen from bulls and stallions (and probably other farmyard animals, although I've never seen it done). Most, if not all, mammals have prostates. It is a widely held myth that only humans and dogs have prostates. I think that came about because, besides humans, dogs are next most prone to BPH and prostate cancer. Anyway, the machine stimulates the prostate, causing ejaculation. The semen is collected in a recepticle, and then can be cryogenically stored, inspected for sperm count, etc.

Vogler Semen Centre in Ashland, NE
No specifics, here. This is just a professional semen collection center where, if you ask, you might get a better explanation of the process.

I suppose your friend could be referred to as an 'avian reproductive technician' or something like that. Whatever his official position is, I do hope he gets paid well! :D
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Postby Lance » Thu Aug 04, 2005 3:03 pm

No trees were killed in the posting of this message.
However, a large number of electrons were terribly inconvenienced.

==========================================

Build a man a fire and he will be warm for a few hours.
Set a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life.
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Postby MM_Dandy » Thu Aug 04, 2005 3:04 pm

:shock:

I've never seen it done like that before!

I suppose this would be considered more natural for the stallion, and pose less risk of puncturing a bowel, and of a handler being severely kicked.

BTW, the Vogler site has probably the worst worded advantage for frozen semen:
2. Having frozen semen on hand allows you to breed more mares.


Emphasis mine.

And also another picture of a dummy mare in use.
Last edited by MM_Dandy on Thu Aug 04, 2005 3:32 pm, edited 2 times in total.
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Postby Мастер » Thu Aug 04, 2005 3:28 pm

MM_Dandy wrote:I suppose your friend could be referred to as an 'avian reproductive technician' or something like that. Whatever his official position is, I do hope he gets paid well! :D


Not a friend or even an acquaintance, I just learned of the existence of the job when visiting the foundation. A job I would much prefer would be that of the guy who dresses up in a crane outfit and teaches the young cranes to fly. Neat trick, since he can't fly himself...
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Postby Candy » Thu Aug 04, 2005 8:14 pm

Lance wrote:Image

Boy, that horse has a really big one. :lol:
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Postby Candy » Thu Aug 04, 2005 8:19 pm

The man suffered fatal trauma while being sodomised by a stallion at a stud farm that catered to men who wanted sex with animals, Enumclaw Police Commander Eric Sortland told AFP.


:shock:

Because sex with animals is not barred by law in Washington state, no arrests have been made, according to police who nonetheless continued to investigate on Monday to determine whether any illegal activity had taken place at the ranch.


:shock:
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Postby Мастер » Thu Aug 04, 2005 11:00 pm

Candy wrote:
Lance wrote:Image

Boy, that horse has a really big one. :lol:


Yea, but it's all discolored and about to fall off from gangrene. Probably that is why they're working it now, before it's too late...
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Postby MM_Dandy » Thu Aug 04, 2005 11:12 pm

Besides, the picture is clearly a fake -- unparallel shadows!

I rest my case.

Edited to add:

That's a cutout of a horse superimposed over my body with handler cutouts added in. :wink:
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Postby Мастер » Thu Aug 04, 2005 11:46 pm

MM_Dandy wrote:That's a cutout of a horse superimposed over my body with handler cutouts added in. :wink:


You must be loads of fun on a crowded lift with that thing swinging around...
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Postby MM_Dandy » Thu Aug 04, 2005 11:50 pm

Nah. I always take the stairs.
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Postby Candy » Fri Aug 05, 2005 12:25 pm

MM_Dandy wrote:That's a cutout of a horse superimposed over my body with handler cutouts added in. :wink:

I've heard of blue balls, but what do you call your big blue thing? :P
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Postby MM_Dandy » Fri Aug 05, 2005 1:49 pm

Why, Little Dandy, of course!

:lol:
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Postby Candy » Fri Aug 05, 2005 2:41 pm

MM_Dandy wrote:Why, Little Dandy, of course!

:lol:

Well, hello! 8)
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Postby Mr. Manly » Fri Aug 05, 2005 2:50 pm

I'm still dumbfounded. What could you possibly be doing with your butt that would make you say "you know this just don't do it for me anymore. I think I need something really big like a horse's dick to stick up there."
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Postby Candy » Fri Aug 05, 2005 3:38 pm

Mr. Manly wrote:I'm still dumbfounded. What could you possibly be doing with your butt that would make you say "you know this just don't do it for me anymore. I think I need something really big like a horse's dick to stick up there."

"Straight" men have a hard time experimenting with real life. I've met many a man that wanted me to stick something up his butt or mine. I know, it's gross to talk about. THESE MEN ARE ALWAYS CATHOLIC! I think the Catholic Religion really screws up a good man. I refuse to date Catholic men for fear of butt torture! :shock:
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Postby Мастер » Fri Aug 05, 2005 4:03 pm

Mr. Manly wrote:I'm still dumbfounded. What could you possibly be doing with your butt that would make you say "you know this just don't do it for me anymore. I think I need something really big like a horse's dick to stick up there."


I'd still like to know how the horse feels about this. Is it being forcibly prostituted, or does it walk around with a big dopey horse-grin saying to itself, "I've got the best job in the world!"?
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Postby jfribrg » Fri Aug 05, 2005 4:07 pm

I know a woman who worked on a horse farm. One day after she and another woman finished collecting their samples from a particularly large horse, her coworker commented that after this, every man will be a disappointment.
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Postby Candy » Fri Aug 05, 2005 5:54 pm

jfribrg wrote:I know a woman who worked on a horse farm. One day after she and another woman finished collecting their samples from a particularly large horse, her coworker commented that after this, every man will be a disappointment.

"He's hung like a horse!"
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Postby MM_Dandy » Fri Aug 05, 2005 6:12 pm

I'll have to agree with Candy about the butt thing, even though I am Catholic. It is strictly a one-way street.
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Postby Candy » Fri Aug 05, 2005 6:16 pm

MM_Dandy wrote:I'll have to agree with Candy about the butt thing, even though I am Catholic. It is strictly a one-way street.


But(t) can I guess, you like to spank and/or pull hair? 8-[
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