Illuminati-R-Us

Pah. How did those useless arseholes ever manage to conquer most of England? Just like practically everybody else who ever tried, come to think of it.

Right, next it's allez les bleus! Beat those llama shaggers 2-0 please.

Bonus points for "lego hawkers".

Camembert wankers beating llama shaggers ONLY 1 - 0. Hoorray for two points for the gentleman from North Britain!

Bouef burners vs. Cevapcicirollers goalless at the half. Any steaks in that one for Lianachan?

1 - 0 for the slivovic guzzlers after 53 min, after a horrific blunder for the bald Argentine goalie. Facepalms all
round.

German commentator: He'd love to tear his hair out at the moment.

Ha.Ha.Ha.

Strong match, very physical, much less rolling on the grass than with DDD and friends. Yellow cards galore.

80th minute, djuvec slurpers lead 2-0

Hey, BOTH finalists of the last World Cup crashing out in the first round, how is that for a nice surprise?

Desastre! Derrota! Humilación! Un océano de lágrimas

Karst diggers 3 - 0 Pampa prowlers in injury time.

g-one wrote:

Lianachan wrote:As soon as he realised the ref wasn’t buying it and the game was carrying on, I notice, he leapt back to his feet, miraculously healed.

worldcup.jpg

Bit of a coupon burster yesterday, with few of the teams having read the scripts I distributed.

Todays wrong predictions are:

Nigeria 1 - 1 Iceland
Brazil 2 - 0 Costa Rica
Serbia 2 - 1 Switzerland

Lianachan wrote:Bit of a coupon burster yesterday, with few of the teams having read the scripts I distributed.

Todays wrong predictions are:

Nigeria 1 - 1 Iceland
Brazil 2 - 0 Costa Rica
Serbia 2 - 1 Switzerland

Already 1 for 1.

MM_Dandy wrote:

Lianachan wrote:Bit of a coupon burster yesterday, with few of the teams having read the scripts I distributed.

Todays wrong predictions are:

Nigeria 1 - 1 Iceland
Brazil 2 - 0 Costa Rica
Serbia 2 - 1 Switzerland

Already 1 for 1.

Yes, it'll all go wrong from here I'm sure.

You weren't so happy in the 89th minute though.

Indeed. Loads of added time in this world cup, no doubt in large part to due to the use of VAR.

I think VAR's working well. It doesn't really hold things up too much, and it doesn't give anything to England.

Value Added Resale?

Well, fucking useless refereeing and a strange unwillingness to use Video Assisted Referee denied Serbia the clearest penalty I’ve ever seen, which has ultimately cost them the match (and me some sorely needed points). What’s the point in VAR if not for when the referee is useless or crooked?

Well.

A grabs B, B grabs back at A, everyone goes to the ground. Would you have called the ref useless if Ross Country had been the defending team and a penalty had been denied? The VAR is for obviously wrong decisions, not for inch-wide off-sides or penalty area scenes that, with the benefit of super slomos from a gazillion angles warrant a different interpretation. But yes, it was a penalty.

Of course, I only rooted for Switzerland because they played way better football, so I am not biased at all here.

ETA: Of course, it is all The Evil German Stole Our Victory in the Serbian press now. Because, if a wrong decision goes your way, you've been clever and we are at an international top level here so don't whine, sissies, but it's dark forces and hidden conspiracies if it's against you.

Else?

Antother ETA: Felix Brych is ranked 3rd among FIFA referees. No. 4 incidientally, is Howard I Don't Mind If You Break Their Bones Webb, of 2010 fame. Go figure.

I'm a wreck.

And yes, that was a penalty in the first half, with a possible red for Boateng.

So...
Flurry of goals for Belgium against Tunisia and a sensational 6 -1 by the Perfidious Albion over World Cup title favourite, Panama. Japan and Senegal in a tight 2 - 2 draw, while Poland - quite unexpectedly, I must say - go down 0 - 3 in miserable fashion against an athletic and insbired Colombia. Those two matches were fun to watch.

Last day of the first round begins today, with simultaneous matches Russia-Uruguay plus Saudi-Arabia-Egypt in the afternoon, and Iran - DDD plus Spain-Marocco in the afternoon.

Will be watching in about 30 minutes along the river, with the Russians.

Try and stay off the vodka.

But why should he?

Back in the USSR 0 - 3 Mate Slurpers
And the Urus aren't even a particularly strong side. Big dent to the Other Greatest Country of the World T.M.'s title aspirations. After a suitably rigged group draw, at least they weren't the first host country ever to drop out after the group stage.

WTC demolition crew 2 - 1 Other WTC bombers
Gruesome match, Saudi-Arabia's first evah World Cup victory a sorry side note

DDD's motley crew 1 - 1 Axis of evil.
Great fun to see the DDD squander a penalty, and Iran fight back successfully against a wannabe champion. Horrible head injuries healed within moments galore.

Country that doesn't own Gibraltar 2 - 2 Country that doesn't own Ceuta and Melilla.
That was fun, actually. Very good to know you can overcome the Armada with a strong header after a corner kick. They wouldn't have let that happen ten years ago, no they wouldn't.

All in all a football night where the supposed favourites didn't deliver as expected, except for Uruguay, which had an easy task ahead of them anyway. I still expect the semis to consist of the usual suspects (beware of becoming another first-round World Champion, England!), but the usual suspects seem to be off to a slow start. Not sure if it will get any faster against South Korea.

ETA: And need we mention that the DDD was exempt from seeing a red card after five VARs saw his elbow check against an Iranian? No we needn't.

Every game I see in this World Cup now I’m more convinced that all referees are fucking useless.

I liked them better in the first round. Why the karate kick in the Argentine box wasn't at least an indirect free kick (if you considered the Nigerian to be jusat acting), I'll never get. Also, why one ball rolling off the defender's head on to his outstretched arm is a penalty in one case and nothing at all in the other, is toatlly beyond me.

In particular

Smorrebrod fiddlers 0 - 0 Frogs, y complete YAWN, giving both teams a pass into the last 16
Crocodiles 0 - 2 Llamas, both fly home and think they've achieved something

Ice chewers 1 - 2 cevapcici munchers. Croatia win the group with a full 9 pt. score
The guys with the psychedelic jerseys 1 - 2 three-finals-in-a-row-losers. Argentina limp into the next round.

On Saturday, we'll have a first highlight in the round of last 16, when France meet Argentina. Judging from their performance so far, France would seem the favourite, but don't misunderestimate Argentina, ever.