Eurovision

[Heid the Ba]

Hannah Waddingham is a big dirty. Austria ought to win. Fight me.

[Heid the Ba]

Portugal: it's Mimicaturday. Throwback to something or other.

[Heid the Ba]

Switzerland, just fuck off.

[Heid the Ba]

Poland, The Mem's favourite. It's Eurovision and poppy. And a dancer just waved her flange at the camera.

[Heid the Ba]

Serbia: it's the Balkans. Oooh he has a sword. Plinth, banjo, hat, kangaroo! Atonal delivery.

[Heid the Ba]

France: she's Canadian! With a horse! Chanteuse! With a fascinator! Rien? J'understand lien!

[Heid the Ba]

Cyprus: Digger with grandparents from Narwhalia. He's got muscles and a vest. Meh.

[Heid the Ba]

Spain: Blanca Paloma? Wasn't that Jonathon King? Do we really need that? Flamenco toss in tight teenage Spanish girl eurodisco pants.

[Heid the Ba]

Tit's and arse, I'm drunk and out.

[Heid the Ba]

Blood and glitter? Bismark laughs.

[Lianachan]

Tit's and arse, I'm drunk and out.

Eurovision in a nutshell, ladies and gentlemen.

[Arneb]

Ach, he missed our Tsherman Rammstein lookaliles. What I would give for one of his salacious comments about zem.

[Arneb]

G'many still sitting at 0, as would be expected. Abbaland apparently sailing to a an easy victory.

[Heid the Ba]

Blood and Glitter? Bismarck laughs. Lordi's idiot brother with Strum and Twang.

[Arneb]

[Arneb]

And a well-deserved last place for the Germans it is. Some consolation that the UK got even less from the audiences than we did.

[Heid the Ba]

Bottom two.

[Arneb]

Soooo... Sweden!

[Arneb]

Didn't know she was a double winner. And 50 years after Abba.

[Arneb]

Not too impressed with the song though...

[Lianachan]

Tit's and arse, I'm drunk and out.

Eurovision in a nutshell, ladies and gentlemen.

I have no memory of posting this. Still, I'm doing better than Mrs Lianachan who this morning appears to have been somewhat over refreshed during Eurovision.

[Richard A]

I wasn't impressed with the song either: she was channelling Abba but not that well. Finland was better, but still not brilliant. And we liked Portugal; I also thought Norway deserved better it got. Mae did a good job for the UK (a lot better than some of the entries), but if a country goes to great efforts to tell Europe to piss off, you can't complain if they return the favour. And at least the juries gave us more than they gave Germany - I'm glad Arneb recognises just how truly awful Germany's entry was. Czechia was better if you watched the subtitles for the lyrics, but few entries in anything other than English have ever won. (A deserving exception, fitting the Eurovision of the times, was in German, as Arneb may remember - although I thought the subsequent German-Dutch version even better.)

But there were some interesting political notes. Greece only gave Cyprus 4 points - normally, the mutual exchange of 12 points is a Eurovision given. Mind you, Heid got it right about the song: Meh. And Ukraine didn't do anything like as well as I expected. But then, not only is the war not as "fresh", this year's entry was nowhere as good as the Kalush Orchestra served up last time.

And the pictures of the Eurovision celebrations around Europe as people were voting answered a question that had been in my mind from the beginning. The parade of Ukrainian stars at the beginning made me wonder, to plagiarise from Austria, where the hell is Ruslana? The answer turned out to be, in Kyiv leading the home party. Which reminds me of another star appearance of hers, which I'll put on Last Music Video You Watched shortly.

[Arneb]

Watched the crazy Käärjä entry and decided i was with the audiences, which preferred it over the Swedish one.

Meanwhie, NDR (Norddeutscher Rundfunk, Northern Geman Broadcasting) has announced they will make an entry next year as well. OK, if they must. You gotta laufgh about somebody, I guess.