Geriatric World

[Enzo]

Jurassic World opened recently, and the wife has been itching to go. I am not much of a movie goer. I don't care to sit wedged into a movie theater seat, where my shoes stick to the floor, and people carry on loud conversations, for two hours. I think the last film we went to see was Lethal Weapon something. And prior to that, Spaceballs. I'd rather wait for it on TV and lie on the couch in my underwear.

But I agreed to go, as at least the first Jurassic Park was enjoyable. So we went to a tuesday afternoon matinee, the cheap $5 show. Cheaper than I had imagined, besides, she was paying. I guess I haven't been to a show for too long. We get there and ask for two tickets to the show at such and such time. Oh yes, there are still seats. Well yeah, like most of them are empty. But the guy lights up a touch screen facing us, showing which seats are occupied and which free. How about these two? We touch the screen and our gray seats turn green. Fancy. I never had specific seats reserved before in a movie house.

In the theater proper, the rows are far apart, no one steps on your toes or makes you stand up to get past, in fact my foot wouldn't come close to the seats in front of me. The chairs were upholstered and reclined, even a padded leg rest came out part way. The seats were more or less paired, with wide arm rests. We shared an arm rest, and unlike the past, ther was room for both arms on it. Pretty comfortable really. What do you know, they have made sitting there almost enjoyable.

The movie was... OK. Not a great film, but not stupid like JP3. Predictable characters. Hunky hero, career driven executive, two boys maybe 12 and 14?. Of course, knowing it is a dinosaur movie, the first thing I do is try to decide who will and who will not get eaten. And of course, "Oh he HAS to get eaten". I give nothing away to say mayhem ensues. What, you were expecting a pleasant documentary film?

It was worth seeing. And the multichannel sound... mostly sound came from the screen, but now and then some dino would be roaring off to the side of the hall or somewhere. Oh listen, super stereo.

Maybe I will go to another movie sometime. Perhaps if they ever start making GOOD Star Wars movies again.

[Lianachan]

Sounds much better than the cinema experience over here, I must say.

You may* not have too long to wait for a GOOD Star Wars film.

Watch on youtube.com

*On the other hand, you may yet.

[Мастер]

But I agreed to go, as at least the first Jurassic Park was enjoyable. So we went to a tuesday afternoon matinee, the cheap $5 show. Cheaper than I had imagined, besides, she was paying. I guess I haven't been to a show for too long. We get there and ask for two tickets to the show at such and such time. Oh yes, there are still seats. Well yeah, like most of them are empty. But the guy lights up a touch screen facing us, showing which seats are occupied and which free. How about these two? We touch the screen and our gray seats turn green. Fancy. I never had specific seats reserved before in a movie house.

In the theater proper, the rows are far apart, no one steps on your toes or makes you stand up to get past, in fact my foot wouldn't come close to the seats in front of me. The chairs were upholstered and reclined, even a padded leg rest came out part way. The seats were more or less paired, with wide arm rests. We shared an arm rest, and unlike the past, ther was room for both arms on it. Pretty comfortable really. What do you know, they have made sitting there almost enjoyable.

It seems to me that unlike many other things, the film theatres in your country were getting better a few years back.

I give nothing away to say mayhem ensues.

They just don't seem to learn that lesson, no matter how many times it happens.

Perhaps if they ever start making GOOD Star Wars movies again.

When did they make good ones before?

<duck>

[Enzo]

I thought the first Star Wars movie was almost perfect, a trifle slow in the sandy scene, but otherwise...

There was little pre-release hype, just a couple TV ads for some new SciFi movie. I said, hey I'd like a space movie, lets go. the film opens up with a couple paragraphs crawl, which says, HERE, this is the plot, so don't worry about figuring anything out, just watch and have fun, and as soon as that crawled off the screen, the action starts. The big bad guy in black. Robots, Lazer guns. Swashbuckling hero, the kid, aliens, space dogfights, blow up the bad guys base, and the main guy goes spinning off into the sequel we knew they'd have to make.

[wring]

the one draw back of the experience for me was the chatter from the couple sitting next to us. A couple of kids you might think, or teenagers? Nope, geriatrics probably a tad older than us. I finally 'shssssse'd ' em.

[Arneb]

My favourite is The Empire Strikes Back. I like the dark tone. Basically, all of the prequels are shitty. Lucas really wasn't a storyteller.

[Lianachan]

My favourite is The Empire Strikes Back. I like the dark tone. Basically, all of the prequels are shitty. Lucas really wasn't a storyteller.

The Empire Strikes Back is the correct answer to the question "What is the best Star Wars film?".

The prequels were bad. Episode I: The Phantom Menace particularly hurt as I went into that with high expectations and with a new-Star Wars-film buzz. By Episode II: Send In The Clowns, I had recalibrated my expectations accordingly but was still extremely disappointed. It was even worse than I feared it might be. Episode III at least had a dark feel to it, but was ruined by shitty dialogue and fuck-awful acting. The whole series is terrible. Trying to explain how the force works? Really?

[Мастер]

The Empire Strikes Back is the correct answer to the question "What is the best Star Wars film?".

I've not seen it. I saw the original, then one with these small furry forest creatures. I can't even remember the plot of the latter. (Did it have one?)

[Lianachan]

The Empire Strikes Back is the correct answer to the question "What is the best Star Wars film?".

I've not seen it. I saw the original, then one with these small furry forest creatures. I can't even remember the plot of the latter. (Did it have one?)

I think it was "blow up another Death Star while not fucking your sister".

[Arneb]

The prequels were bad. Episode I: The Phantom Menace particularly hurt as I went into that with high expectations and with a new-Star Wars-film buzz. By Episode II: Send In The Clowns, I had recalibrated my expectations accordingly but was still extremely disappointed. It was even worse than I feared it might be. Episode III at least had a dark feel to it, but was ruined by shitty dialogue and fuck-awful acting. The whole series is terrible. Trying to explain how the force works? Really?

I think that pretty much covers it, yes. The amateurish tacking-together of the dfferent storylines in order to set up the narrative for Ep. IV destroyed any strengths this film might have had. And the acting. And then, the acting. Finally, the acting. And yes, you can die, Amidala, because, yeah, you want to. Imperial Medicine can weld together a man with no limbs, a burnt lung and third degree burns of about 120 % of body area, but they can't save your life because you're oh so sad. And you didn't even have a human midwive. Ach, come ON.

[Enzo]

I liked Empire, but in a sense it was familiar territory. I mean the original came out of the blue, while Empire was another - if better - version of the first.

Like Jimi Hendrix, the first album was like nothing we ever heard. The following LPs were terrific, but we were now familiar with it. Fortunately he never lived to have to play a duet with Jar Jar.

Old news, but when Jar Jar Binks first came on the screen, I wanted to throw a brick through it.

Oh the last three, making up the back story for the first three, sucked. Originally Darth Vader was evil personified, the quintessential bad guy. Then we get around to how he came to be, and it is the hot headed young fuck who had a bad attitude all along, and he gets pissed off because people expect him to play by the rules, and then he gets melted in a volcano or something. Oh well, sucks being him, but really?

At least the Marsala chick didn't die from fowl play.

[Мастер]

I'll let you know whether my Jurrasic World experience is similar to yours in about two hours.

[Мастер]

Spoiler:

I figured the black guy would get eaten for sure. Got that one wrong.

Spoiler:

I also figured the Pakistani guy would get eaten. He died, but in a helicopter crash.

Spoiler:

I considered it obvious that Clare, her boyfriend, and the kids would not get eaten.

Spoiler:

That the army guy would get eaten was nearly as obvious as the fact that business-suit/high-heels Clare would lose half her clothes over the course of the film.

Spoiler:

The absolute worst moment in the film was when Clare and her boyfriend kissed right after she shot the flying dinosaur.

[Enzo]

Spoiler:

I figured the trusty reliable loyal black guy couldn't get ate (though he would have in a Bond flick I think), but of course D'onofrio had to. Certainly the pudgy John Goodman-ish hard hat guy demanded to be ate. Kinda thought helicopter guy was a meal, but no. And yes, the guy, gal, kids would be OK.

Spoiler:

In the first film, it was established the raptors were communicating to coordinate their efforts and such. Language being a learned behavior, and considering the raptors in JP had only been there a few generations at most, it seemed surprising that they had developed language in that short span. Now forward to JW, they have raptors which can still communicate, but they have created a new super-monster, which turns out has some raptor genes in him/her, and no only has it developed language in one generation, said language is the same as the raptors'.

The wife watches Law & Order cop show ALL the time, and I give her grief for it. She talks me into going to the theater and we sit through the previews and movie. The trailer for the new Ted movie shows them watching TV, which of course was Law & Order. Then JW starts and they introduce the Vincent D'onofrio character. he plays a detective on one L&O show. And of course B.D.Wong is back from the first film as the oriental genetic technician. He plays a shrink in L&O. I just can't escape it.

And D'onofrio was the bug guy in Men In Black.

[wring]

do and do for you, dear.

[Heid the Ba]

Spoiler:

. . . nearly as obvious as the fact that business-suit/high-heels Clare would lose half her clothes over the course of the film.

[Cupid Stunt mode] And suddenly all my clothes fall off![/Cupid Stunt mode]

[Heid the Ba]

Selma was good for "Black sidekick cop bingo!". Ooh that's Bunk from The Wire. What was he in, was he Sergeant Gabriel in The Closer? Wasn't he in NYPD? And so on.

[Heid the Ba]

Massive, dinosaur sized spoilers. But funny.

[Lianachan]

Massive, dinosaur sized spoilers. But funny.

Excellent, cheers. Saves me the chore of watching it.

[Enzo]

Spoiler:

Often a lack of refrigeration and contamination from food preparation surfaces.

[Lianachan]

Spoiler:

an air deflector on an automobile to reduce the tendency to lift off the road at high speeds