PLANET-DISSOLVING DUST CLOUD IS HEADED TOWARD EARTH!

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PLANET-DISSOLVING DUST CLOUD IS HEADED TOWARD EARTH!

Postby Lance » Sun Sep 18, 2005 1:03 am

It was spewed from a black hole 28,000 light years from Earth and is vaporizing everything in its path, astronomers say!

By MIKE FOSTER

CAMBRIDGE, Mass. -- Scared-stiff astronomers have detected a mysterious mass they've dubbed a "chaos cloud" that dissolves everything in its path, including comets, asteroids, planets and entire stars -- and it's headed directly toward Earth!

Discovered April 6 by NASA's Chandra X-ray Observatory, the swirling, 10 million-mile- wide cosmic dust cloud has been likened to an "acid nebula" and is hurtling toward us at close to the speed of light -- making its estimated time of arrival 9:15 a.m. EDT on June 1, 2014.

"The good news is that this finding confirms several cutting- edge ideas in theoretical physics," announced Dr. Albert Sherwinski, a Cambridge based astrophysicist with close ties to NASA.

"The bad news is that the total annihilation of our solar system is imminent."

Experts believe the chaos cloud is composed of particles spawned near the event horizon of a black hole (a form of what's called Hawking Radiation) that have been distorted by mangled information spewed from the hole.

"A super-massive black hole lies about 28,000 light-years from Earth at the center of our galaxy," explained Dr. Sherwinski.

"Last year the eminent physicist Stephen Hawking revised his theory of black holes -- which previously held that nothing could escape the hole's powerful gravitational field. He demonstrated that information about objects that have been sucked in can be emitted in mangled form.

"It now appears that mangled information can distort matter.

"Just imagine our galaxy the Milky Way as a beautiful, handwritten letter.

"Now imagine pouring a glass of water on the paper and watching the words dissolve as the stain spreads. That's what the chaos cloud does to every star or planet it encounters."

To avoid widespread panic, NASA has declined to make the alarming discovery public. But Dr. Sherwinski's contacts at the agency's Chandra X-ray Observatory leaked to him striking images of the newly discovered chaos cloud obliterating a large asteroid.

"It's like watching a helpless hog being dissolved in a vat of acid," one NASA scientist told Dr. Sherwinski.

Ordinarily, Hawkings Radiation is harmless.

"It's produced when an electron- positron pair are at the event horizon of a black hole," Dr. Sherwinski explained. "The intense curvature of space-time of the hole can cause the positron to fall in, while the electron escapes."

But when "infected" by mangled information from the black hole, the particles become a chaos cloud, which in turn mangles everything it touches.

"If it continues unchecked, the chaos cloud will eventually reduce our galaxy to the state of absolute chaos that existed before the birth of the universe," the astrophysicist warned.

Some scientists say mankind's best hope would be to build a "space ark" and hightail it to the Andromeda Galaxy, 2.1 million light-years away.

"We wouldn't be able to save the entire human population, but perhaps the best and the brightest," observed British rocket scientist Dr. David Hall, when asked about the feasibility of such a project.

But even if such a craft could be built in time, evacuating Earth might prove fruitless if theories about the origin of the chaos cloud are correct.

"A black hole at the center of Andromeda is about 15 times the size of the one in our own galaxy," Dr. Sherwinski noted. "It might be like jumping out of the frying pan into the fire."

Speaking under the condition of anonymity, a senior White House official said the president's top science advisors are taking the findings in stride.

"This is a lot like global warming, where the jury is still out on whether it's real or not," said the official.

"The existence of this so called chaos cloud is only a theory. Americans shouldn't panic until all the facts are in."

Published on: 09/12/2005


See the original at this NASA site.
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Postby Bill EE » Sun Sep 18, 2005 1:46 am

I hope it gets here before next April 15th :shock: - I think I may have to pay this year :( .
"Mars" is also a chocolate bar found on Earth. These are highly concentrated sources of carbohydrates, which are of vital importance to many carbon based life forms. Mars bars are slightly rippled with a flat underside. They are sometimes used in English courtship rituals in which the female performs various allegorical oral acts with the chocolate bar, which is donated by the male as part payment for this spectacle.
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Re: PLANET-DISSOLVING DUST CLOUD IS HEADED TOWARD EARTH!

Postby Cl1mh4224rd » Sun Sep 18, 2005 3:10 am

Lance wrote:See the original at this NASA site.

Heh heh heh... :)

I wonder how many over at GLP would fall for this without the link?
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Postby Superluminal » Sun Sep 18, 2005 3:37 am

How many would fall for it with the link?

While checking out at the grocery store earlier today, saw a headline in that same prestigeous journal Lance linked to. Einstiens brain has come back to life! :shock: Guess he wants to get the heck out of here. :D
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Postby Lance » Sun Sep 18, 2005 1:19 pm

I hadn't read the whole thing before I posted it. I just read the first few lines and thought "this will be fun" so I put it up here.

Now that I read it though, it's pretty obvious the writer has at least some knowledge in the field. What possesses people to so blatantly make stuff up like this? Fired by NASA or something? I don't get it.
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Postby Superluminal » Sun Sep 18, 2005 4:17 pm

Well if the cloud is 28,000 ly away and traveling at nearly the speed of light. It won't get here until the year 31,000 AD. I think it will disipate enough by then that we can all take refuge in the New New Orleans Superduper Dome. I'm sure that by then the dome will be re-built and able with stand a supernova shock wave.
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Postby Lance » Sun Sep 18, 2005 4:25 pm

Ah, see but, it said it originated at the galactic core some 28,000 ly away. It didn't say that's where it is now.

Didn't I see this in Star Trek once (or twice)?
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Postby Superluminal » Sun Sep 18, 2005 4:52 pm

The vampire cloud that ate red blood cells and could travel at warp speed. Yep, we're in trouble.
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Postby Мастер » Sun Sep 18, 2005 7:40 pm

Lance wrote:What possesses people to so blatantly make stuff up like this? Fired by NASA or something? I don't get it.


To sell newspapers?
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Postby ToSeek » Fri Sep 23, 2005 10:34 pm

The Weekly World News is hysterical:

http://www.weeklyworldnews.com/features/politics/61705
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Postby Lance » Wed Oct 05, 2005 12:49 am

Someone just posted about this as new over on GLP. The responses were pretty funny, but this one really tickled me:

PLANET-DISSOLVING DUST CLOUDS.. were so last week.
This week our dOom is bird-flu, come on OP get with the program. :glp-gangup:
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Postby Frogmarch » Wed Oct 05, 2005 2:11 pm

I wonder what's to stop Hawking radiation being anti-matter?
A cloud of antimatter coming Earth's way would be a problem. edit-I think, though maybe not.
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Postby Lance » Wed Oct 05, 2005 2:20 pm

Hmmm...

Big huge cloud of anti-matter.

Yeah, doesn't sound like a Sunday picnic to me either.
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Postby Cl1mh4224rd » Wed Oct 05, 2005 8:32 pm

Certainly a cloud, even of anti-matter, would be sufficiently dispersed after traveling 28,000 light years to not pose much of a problem to our dinky, little planet...

I imagine it like someone smoking a cigar and claiming it poses a severe health risk to people on the other side of the planet...
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Postby Lance » Wed Oct 05, 2005 8:49 pm

<woo woo>

But as soon it it gets here, the Earth's gravity will draw it together. The cloud will settle like early-morning dew on us and the planet will be destroyed.

</woo woo>
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Postby Мастер » Wed Oct 05, 2005 9:01 pm

Lance wrote:<woo woo>

But as soon it it gets here, the Earth's gravity will draw it together. The cloud will settle like early-morning dew on us and the planet will be destroyed.

</woo woo>


No, Earth will be shielded by all the other crap already drawn in from 28,000 light-years away and then captured by Earth's gravity.

Oops, I didn't use the <woo woo> tag. Was that wrong?
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Postby Animal » Wed Oct 05, 2005 9:12 pm

What will happen to Planet X when this cloud gets here? And which will destroy the Earth first?
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Postby Cl1mh4224rd » Thu Oct 06, 2005 5:13 am

Lance wrote:<woo woo>

But as soon it it gets here, the Earth's gravity will draw it together. The cloud will settle like early-morning dew on us and the planet will be destroyed.

</woo woo>

Hehe, nice.

Except Jupiter would likely gather a far greater amount of this material. Imagine... Jupiter would light up like a Christmas tree, becoming a second sun! I tell you... Arthur C. Clarke knew!
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Postby Мастер » Thu Oct 06, 2005 1:59 pm

Animal wrote:What will happen to Planet X when this cloud gets here? And which will destroy the Earth first?


Both very good questions. If the Earth is not destroyed in 2012, that would clearly prove that the cloud missed Earth and destroyed Planet X instead. It's difficult to find accurate information, due to the government cover-up of both Planet X and the cloud.
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Postby Lance » Thu Oct 06, 2005 2:07 pm

I feel a GLP story in the making...
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Postby Мастер » Thu Oct 06, 2005 2:21 pm

Lance wrote:I feel a GLP story in the making...


Don't believe this government disinformation about Jupiter gathering more of the material than earth. As everyone already knows (even though the government doesn't want you to know), Jupiter is also a giant cloud of dust, and will simply be absorbed, making this planet dissolving dust cloud larger and more powerful before it strikes Earth, unless, pursuant to Animal's questions, Planet X sacrifices itself to deflect it away from Earth. But note that, even in this case, Earth is not spared; the deadly radiation created by the collision of the cloud and Planet X will instantly kill anyone on Earth who is not at least 100 meters underground at the time.

Get digging, everyone...
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Postby Lance » Thu Oct 06, 2005 2:38 pm

You mean, Jupiter is made of anti-matter too?
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Postby Мастер » Thu Oct 06, 2005 6:08 pm

Lance wrote:You mean, Jupiter is made of anti-matter too?


It will converted and absorbed, through a process that is incompatible with standard physics, but can be understood using hyper-dimensional physics.

Also, I forgot to mention, the entrance to the underground shelter can't be straight down, or the deadly radiation will just go straight down to the shelter. So the entrance should be spiral, with radius about 10 meters, making a complete turn about every 15 meter decline in depth. Also, the shelter location must be chosen very carefully, because many otherwise suitable underground locations are contaminated by deadly dihydromonoxide, usually in its liquid form. Soil with many large rocks blocks interplanetary collisoidal radiation much better than loose, uncompacted soil.

My source on this is a dissident government agent, who risks discovery, torture, and execution to bring us this important and life-saving information.
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Postby Animal » Thu Oct 06, 2005 6:41 pm

Khrushchev's Other Shoe wrote:It will converted and absorbed, through a process that is incompatible with standard physics, but can be understood using hyper-dimensional physics.
Also, I forgot to mention, the entrance to the underground shelter can't be straight down, or the deadly radiation will just go straight down to the shelter. So the entrance should be spiral, with radius about 10 meters, making a complete turn about every 15 meter decline in depth. Also, the shelter location must be chosen very carefully, because many otherwise suitable underground locations are contaminated by deadly dihydromonoxide, usually in its liquid form. Soil with many large rocks blocks interplanetary collisoidal radiation much better than loose, uncompacted soil.


I already have a partially completed shelter which I started during Gulf War 1. Do you suggest anything special in the way of innner-lining material?
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Postby Мастер » Thu Oct 06, 2005 7:08 pm

Animal wrote:I already have a partially completed shelter which I started during Gulf War 1. Do you suggest anything special in the way of innner-lining material?


Definitely you want heavy stone, in large slabs. Don't use small pieces, because the radiation will seep in through the cracks between them (also, these same cracks are a potential route for DHMO contamination to enter the shelter). And if the shelter has been left open all this time, you want to scrub down every square inch with water (make sure this water is not contaminated by DHMO!), and then carry out all of the water thus used. This will remove the dust which has been accumulating for the last fourteen+ years, since dust is known to be very conductive of interplanetary collisoidal radiation.

I don't know if I will be able to provide much more information, the last time I met my source (in an abandoned mineshaft, whose location I will not disclose), he was out of breath, kept looking nervously over his shoulder, and said he could only stay a few minutes (which he did). I haven't been able to establish contact again since then...
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