Illuminati-R-Us

DISCLAIMER: This is a work of fiction. It does not refer to nor is it about any real person. It is a story made up of parts of many sorts of individuals we all grew up around. I do not advocate activities alluded to in this piece. It is just a story meant to suggest what might be behind some things in the news.

No, it is not autobiographical. I was on the wrestling team.

It is actually a song with lively music, but we don't have room for that.


Can’t Get No Girls

I got an A in Chemistry
I studied and learned French
I went out for the football team
They left me on the bench

I can’t afford to buy a diamond
Couldn’t even buy a pearl
I just want to be like Jill Sobule
I wanna say, “I kissed a girl.”

Got tape on my glasses
I’ve read the finest books
I do well in my classes
Don’t get no second looks

Even though I understand Plato
Maybe she would like me anyhow
I could fix her TV and her mic-ro-wave
If just one chance the fates would allow

I don’t need Christina or Britney
Girls run the other way
They don’t want to be with me
Can’t get the time of day

My Grandpa took me out to teach me hunting
Killing Bambi’s really not my style
Ain’t no honeys coming at me running
I’ve been lonely for a while

I run the school projector
I’m not working on a tan
Got a pocket protector
I’m a star without a fan

I hope they will let me off lightly
After all it’s still my first offense
I just wanted someone to like me
It was kinda mental self defense

They make fun of my clothing
I wanted someone to adore
How they fill me with loathing
I’m the guy they all ignore

I think I’ll steal my Grandpa’s rifle
And take it down to the school
It’s an urge I cannot stifle
The Principal is such a fool

I like watching Star Trek
Know all the episodes
They’ll pay for how they treat me
When the high school explodes

I know they won’t see it coming
But I know that it will be real cool
I can’t wait to see them all running
When I blow up the school

The disturbed ramblings of a misfit put to music. . . I love it!!!!

Enzo wrote:It does not refer to nor is it about any real person.

Ya know, it probably is. It just may not be someone you know of.

Lance wrote:

Enzo wrote:It does not refer to nor is it about any real person.

Ya know, it probably is. It just may not be someone you know of.

If it were me, I'd be using a bow and arrow.

hippietrekx wrote:

Lance wrote:

Enzo wrote:It does not refer to nor is it about any real person.

Ya know, it probably is. It just may not be someone you know of.

If it were me, I'd be using a bow and arrow.

Like Nicholas Cage? (That was refreshing. I'm refreshed. I'm refreshing...)

I don't like Mondays.

Khrushchev's Other Shoe wrote:I don't like Mondays.

The silicon chip inside your head got switched to "overload" again, did it?

Lance wrote:The silicon chip inside your head got switched to "overload" again, did it?

:P

Khrushchev's Other Shoe wrote::P

I'm not sure why but I've always liked that song. Of course, I liked the Boomtown Rats too.

Bow and arrow might have worked, but it didn't scan well, and rhymed poorly with "stifle."