Illuminati-R-Us

Lance, I know how proud you are of our mind-control technology, and that we've only just begun to tap into the potential of the new gadgets delivered with "corana virus" "vaccines". But this seems a bit, let's say, playful - to say the least.

So, we have one of our controllees installed as a bishop in a rural area of Catalunya, Spain. As any good IRU-controlled bishop would, he rails against homosexuals, is a vocal denier of women's rights, condemns abortions, is a staunch defender of papist clericalism, and not only condones but practices exorcism - and you should know best how much tweaking it took us to make people do that.

Then, after the boss has volunteered to take the night shift a few weeks ago, His Reverence declares he is "madly in love" with a writer of satanic soft porn literature and resigns not only from his episcopal dignity but from his priesthood altogether. In order to marry a divorced mother of two who writes prose like "He looks at my lips. I look at his lips. We look each other's lips" (I have it on good authority that it sounds just as crappy in Spanish. And Catalan). His replacemeent as a bishop is promptly installed by our people in the Vatican, and his name is - watcha gonna do? - Bishop Casanova!

Lance, I know it's fun to twiddle at the controls a bit when you're alone and it's the graveyard shift. We've all done it one point or another (Brexit referendum, anyone?). And the flourish with the replacement bishop just shows you really got the hang of it. But in the best case, this weakens our position in Catalunya (I don't even know if the new guy got his "vaccinations"), and in the worst case, we're going to be exposed. So, a bit of restraint, OK? Illumillama might not like this at all.

God damn it!

*sigh*

I'm sorry. That's what happens when I don't lock my computer and I have friends over for BBQ and weed and beer.

Lance wrote:and weed

Is that something that must remain private?

In the bizarre federal system that is the US, smoking the weed of wisdom in a state where it is perfectly legal to do so, remains a reason to ban someone from entering the country.

The crazy person who attacked me early in 2020 in California, proposed that we seek out the weed of wisdom, which I told him was probably not a good idea in my personal circumstances (OK, I took the cheap way out). Maybe five minutes before he attacked me for being an anti-American terrorist. Anti-American? I suppose that depends on one’s definitions. Terrorist? That’s a much harder one to make stick. I think all kinds of thoughts, but I hardly ever do anything.

Making a bishop hand in his notice for a porn writer is a very weed-y thing to I should say.

Mind you, boss, I laughed. And I appreciate the nice flourish, but we are a secret wordwide organisation, and the goal is domination, not fun.

Arneb wrote:but we are a secret wordwide organisation, and the goal is domination, not fun.

To what end domination, without fun?

As per our mission statement,

'The goal of Illuminati-R-Us is to make the world a better and safer place for the llamas.'

Amen.

I should never come here sober.

Then drink more and come more often .

Yep. As they say in the vernacular, "just give'r".

Orders received and understood, sir!

Update:I looked into it during my last nightshift, and the new guy is firmly under control. Much though I miss the conservative diatribes and exorcisms of the predecessor, I have given him a veneer of civility and compassion for now, just to be on the safe side. In the end, no harm done, we've all had a laugh and finally, the boss is seriously considering passwords other than "12345" for his mind control workstation. Not the worst of outcomes.

Arneb wrote:...the boss is seriously considering passwords other than "12345" for his mind control workstation.

Yes, yes, it's been changed. it is NO LONGER "12345" so there is no need for anyone to even bother trying it.

Good. Excellent, in fact. Illumillama will smile upon us.

Arneb wrote:Illumillama will smile upon us.

And HIS glory be unto all.