Illuminati-R-Us

The world ends, and your lava suit is at the cleaners.

You have an adverse reaction to Biaxin (antibiotic) that causes you to spew blood from your anus like tub-girl.

Lance wrote:You have an adverse reaction to Biaxin (antibiotic) that causes you to spew blood from your anus like tub-girl.

Please, NO film at 11.

Sorry to hear that, Lance. Hope you are OK. And that you get the raging VD it was meant to cure, under control.

(Oh, I am SO going to get banned ...)

Seriously, hope all is now, or soon, well. 8)

You cut off your hand with a mitre saw.

Not me, but a tax client.

This man builds custom kitchens and has worked with power tools for at least 30 years.

The left hand was reattached (free under our socialist health care system :wink: ) and he has some movement in his fingers. A small bit of luck, he is right handed.

Makes me sick to think about it. Fortunately, Worker's Compensation pays 80% of his earnings and it is tax free.

I did not embarass him by asking how he could do such a thing.

But please, for love and mercy, be careful out there, folks.

KLA2 wrote:(free under our socialist health care system :wink: )

It is of course not free, it is just paid for by someone else.


You have a flight through a cloud of volcanic ash.

Mactep wrote:

KLA2 wrote:(free under our socialist health care system :wink: )

It is of course not free, it is just paid for by someone else.

Not too far divorced from the way a capitalist expropriates surplus value methinks. Happily I submit to socialism if it means sharing a bit of my fortune with others and vice versa so that they could reciprocate when my need arises.


You discover your cat's fleas have migrated to the rest of the house dammit.

Mactep wrote:

KLA2 wrote:(free under our socialist health care system :wink: )

It is of course not free, it is just paid for by someone else.

Well, yes, but it can be argued, sort of like compulsory auto insurance.

You have a flight through a cloud of volcanic ash.

Huh? :?

you're watching house of payne and can't find the remote

The building you work in is right behind the lightening bolt in this picture:

KLA2 wrote:Well, yes, but it can be argued, sort of like compulsory auto insurance.

Whether it is a good thing or a bad thing is another issue. But either way, somneone pays for it.

KLA2 wrote:

Mactep wrote:You have a flight through a cloud of volcanic ash.

Huh? :?

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/eu_iceland_volcano

You forget to bring your hat when leaving on a trip.

tubeswell wrote:Happily I submit to socialism if it means sharing a bit of my fortune with others and vice versa so that they could reciprocate when my need arises.

Let's find out: I propose that there be a 98% tax on incomes over 10,000 USD per year, to be distributed to those who earn less than 2 USD per day.

Do you submit happily? Or is that not quite the type of socialism you had in mind?

Your shoelace breaks.

Mactep wrote:

tubeswell wrote:Happily I submit to socialism if it means sharing a bit of my fortune with others and vice versa so that they could reciprocate when my need arises.

Let's find out: I propose that there be a 98% tax on incomes over 10,000 USD per year, to be distributed to those who earn less than 2 USD per day.

Do you submit happily? Or is that not quite the type of socialism you had in mind?

Your shoelace breaks.

You are equating socialism with extremism. (When I said 'a bit', I meant a bit.)

Sometimes its possible to make do with a 'repaired' shoelace or a piece of good string. Other times appearances are more important. )

When nothing seems to be going wrong.

tubeswell wrote:You are equating socialism with extremism. (When I said 'a bit', I meant a bit.)

I expect that's how a lot of people with very high incomes, let's say 5 million USD or more, would feel. A little bit of socialism is fine, just not the extreme kind that would put a serious crimp on their lifestyles.

When you get a taxi driver who doesn't know where anything is.

you have to tell yourself it can't last forever.

You realize it will last forever.

decisions must be made

Lt. Moosedoom wrote:decisions must be made

or all hell will break loose (?)

You go to bed and instead of falling asleep all you can think of is how you could have died on that autobahn just like that.

Arneb wrote:You go to bed and instead of falling asleep all you can think of is how you could have died on that autobahn just like that.

You have at least one of those moments for yet another day

YKYHABD when you lock your office and the desk looks exactly as you found it when you arrived.

Arneb wrote:YKYHABD when you lock your office and the desk looks exactly as you found it when you arrived.

With a naked nurse and a bottle of champagne, both untouched. Bad day.

Good doctor.

YKYHABD when you come home after a tough day and HAVE TO READ INSINUATIONS LIKE THE ABOVE !!!! [wheeze, gargle thud].

YKYHHABD when you have to render cyber mouth-to-mouth resuscitation to an overweight German doctor with beer and schnitzel on his breath.

Peace, my friend. Just joking. :wink:

The guy you hoped would join the team sends a negative reply - not himself, but through the agency...

a third prospective job applicant withdraws their application before the interview... (leaving you with nobody to interview, work piling up etc etc) feck it all. (What is it with job applicants these days? Where is the tenacity!)