A diverse group enter a drinking establishment . . .

[Heid the Ba]

Ha!

[Lianachan]

I had Jehovah’s Mice at the door tonight. They wanted to talk to me about cheeses.

[g-one]

Start ranting about the juice and see if that scares them off.

[Arneb]

[Lianachan]

Alan Rough joke.

A man walks into a pub with his dog, orders a beer and says to the barman “I’ve got no money but I’ll show you something better. My dog can speak.” The barman replies “Right then, make it talk”.

The guy says to the dog “You’ve been out to the pub, and had 8 pints of beer, four double whiskys, and a pina colada. How do you feel in the morning?” The dog says “ruff!” and the barman says “Nah, I’m not having that. Get out!”

The guy insists “No, no, it can talk, give us another chance”, then says to the dog “You’re teeing off and your ball doesn’t hit the fairway, the green, the bunker or the water. Where is it?”. The dog says “ruff!”

The barman says “Right, that’s it! Out the pair of you!” The guy says “Honestly it can talk, one more chance please” then says to the dog “right, this is our last chance before we get chucked out so pay attention. World Cup 1986 in Mexico, who was in goal for Scotland?” The dog says “ruff!”

The barman has had enough and chucks them both out. When they are sitting outisde on the the pavement the dog turns and says to him “Sorry, I fucked that up, it was Jim Leighton wasn’t it?”

[Мастер]

The American version of that goes through what’s on top of the building (roof), how does sandpaper feel (rough), etc.

It concludes with, who is the best baseball player? The answer is (Babe) Ruth.

After being thrown out, the dog says, do you think I should have said “DiMaggio”?