Illuminati-R-Us

Etc..

Groan.

The second one is easy.
But what is "coarse fishing"?
And why would the word "bitch" appear on a cereal box?

Coarse fishing isn't anything to do with coarse language - it's this, and I don't think anybody would write "bitch" on a ceral box. It's the thought of him answering her question and reaction to it that's good about that one (a favourite cartoon of mine, that one).

Thanks, I had never heard of "coarse fishing" but assumed it meant something to justify the pun.

The tome one was funny.


Now the Bitch Cereal. There is a brand of cereal here called "Nut 'n Honey." and the marketing has TV ads where the wife asks the husband "what are you eating?" And he says "Nut 'n Honey." Which of course she thinks is him saying "Nothing, Honey." Zaniness ensues. And those ads were on ALL the time. So the joke here is that some other brand has made Nut 'n Bitch cereal, so when the wife asks what are you eating he replies with the product name, which she misunderstands as a personal comment... Hilarity in zoos.

It got a chuckle out of me.

Cheers Enzo, I didn't know about "Nut'n'Honey" - definitely adds something to it.

Now I am happy - I got enough of the jokes to laugh about them but I was missing that last bit.

Nut'N'Bitch. Wonderful.

Good, good. Further crapage.

I suspect this may be Right-pondian/Australian but I laughed.

Heid the Ba' wrote:I suspect this may be Right-pondian/Australian but I laughed.

I had to Google.

Viz is very parochial, and also very funny.

Not a cartoon, but from the same source.

Lianachan wrote:

I missed this one the first time round. One Saturday night of my police career involved a wedding reception the highlights of which were, in no particular order: a fight between the bride and the groom's sister (a bridesmaid) both still in full regalia, arresting the best man (in full RAF dress blues) for fighting, a 350 lb man having an asthma attack in the carpark, a drunk minister and two local neds trying to gatecrash a wedding with the police already in attendance. Just your typical Scottish wedding.

I fell asleep at the reception at my cousin's wedding in Fife, and was surprised the following morning to see blood on the walls in the hall. At breakfast, I asked my dad what it was all about. He said that the bride's sister had been upset at something the groom's father (my uncle) had said, "and felt compelled to smite him upon the countenance" (I remember that quote well, as it's quite wonderful), whereby a full blown bru-ha-ha ensued. I had slept through all of that, plus the arrival and departure of two ambulances and about a dozen police. I must have been about 20 at the time.

You must also have been very drunk at the time.

In my opinion, the "smite him upon the countenance" sentence alone merits your uncle a mention in the A Life Well Lived thread.

Welcome to Fife. Kirkcaldy?

Arneb wrote:You must also have been very drunk at the time.

Oh indeed. Fortunately, when in such a state I prefer to talk shite then fall asleep, rather than engage in fisticuffs.

Arneb wrote:In my opinion, the "smite him upon the countenance" sentence alone merits your uncle a mention in the A Life Well Lived thread.

I've no idea what he said that upset her so much. Probably nothing of great offence. The bride's family were a bit rough.

Heid the Ba' wrote:Welcome to Fife. Kirkcaldy?

Great guess, but it was actually Markinch.

Glenrothes was going to be the second guess. Markinch has been described to me as the place you don't get off the train, as it only ever appears as Kirkcaldy-Markinch-Ladybank-Cupar-Leuchars, never on its own.

Oh, and Heid may find this guide to railway stations of use in his daily commute.