Cooking

[pmcolt]

Is not something I seem capable of doing. From time to time I've thought about learning, and since I've gotten an apartment of my own, the thought had crossed my mind again recently.

On the other hand, since I've moved into this apartment, I've managed to:
- destroy packaged cookie dough. Burnt on one side, raw on the other. On average, it turned out well.
- destroy packaged crescent rolls. Black on one side, raw in the middle.
- ruin crescent dogs. Black on one side, watery in the middle.
- set microwave popcorn on fire. Twice.
- overcook packaged chicken strips in the microwave. The smell of buffalo sauce was pretty overwhelming.

I'm almost afraid to move from the oven or microwave to the stovetop. Seems like a disaster waiting to happen if I do. Cooking can't exactly be rocket science, can it?

[Blue Monster 65]

I'm sorry, but that's pretty damn funny!

Scott

[Enzo]

I used to bake stuff when I was a kid, of course mom was hovering.

I am a pretty darn good cook now, but I had to start somewhere. Back in college, when I first found myself having to make my own food, I had to improvise.

You should be able to make soup. Even in a sauce pan. You open up a can of Campbells soup and dump it into the pan. Then fill the empty can with water and dump that in the pan too. (Assuming your soup is like mine). Then heat it up until hot. Stir it often to keep the bottom from sticking. DOn;t max the heat, medium or medium high is enough.

Read the label, some soup wants milk instead of water.

Now back to my story. I knew how to make a can of tomato soup OK. One day I got the idea to throw a handful of minute rice into the pan with the soup. AMAZING!!! I had just invented Spanish Rice. I've had better, but I was pretty pleased with myself.

[Heid the Ba]

Cooking can't exactly be rocket science, can it?

No but it can be rocket salad . . . I'll get me coat.

Cooling is easier without a microwave, stick to an oven or stovetop.

[Enzo]

Cooling? I'd have to agree, the microwave won;t be much help there.

[hippietrekx]

Maybe you need some ovaries? I've been in my apartment for a month now, and I'm doing pretty well.

Made some pre-package cookies. Made home-made pizza, made some chicken and mushroom and vegetable dish sauteed in white wine (DAMN GOOD), pea-mushroom-grain patties, grain-carrot-rice soup, grilled cheese, hash browns, bacon and jasmine rice stuffed cabbage...

And before a month ago I couldn't make tomato soup from a can (ask jimmy...).

Maybe you don't NEED to cook enough yet. eventually you'll do it out of desperation.

--Dom

[troubleagain]

You're making me hungry, hippie.

[Arneb]

Keep it up, pmolt. I charred my first fried eggs, my first fish, I let a chicken soup go sour, etc., but after two years in my first flat (what you call appartment), I invited friends for a 12 course dinner, and they neither laughed nor puked.

Get a good basic cookbook, pay some attention, and get away from thinking that a stove at full blast will get the job done better than a stove at half throttle.

I agree with Heid on the microwave. I haven't owned one in 40 years, and I don't miss a thing.

Ovaries are no requirement for cooking. Cojones will be just fine.

[Мастер]

I invited friends for a 12 course dinner, and they neither laughed nor puked.

Wow, it must have been quick. :P

[hippietrekx]

Ovaries are no requirement for cooking. Cojones will be just fine.

Oh, I didn't intend to imply they were needed for cooking. Just that maybe pmcolt should give ovaries a try, since his cojones don't seem to be getting the job done.

--Dom

[pmcolt]

since his cojones don't seem to be getting the job done

If I had a nickel for every woman who thought that...

I suspect that the oven temperature reading is incorrect. In the past week I lowered the oven temperature about 25°F while baking, and everything seems to come out better. Doesn't explain my microwave mishaps, but it's an encouraging sign.

So i bought a skillet and a 1-qt pot this weekend. Whenever I'm feeling brave enough, I'm going to try grilled cheese. Then soup. Then, whenever I find an oriental store in the area, rice. I haven't decided what to fix with the rice yet, but one step at a time.

(These are things that I've never managed to screw up at home, so... I'm hopeful. Now if I could just get back into the habit of washing the dishes when I'm finished.)

[troubleagain]

Spaghetti and sauce are easy, too. Chili. Roasts. If you know someone with a slow-cooker they're not using, there are lots of good ways to use those, too.

[Enzo]

Yeah, pasta is simple - spaghetti, macaroni, them twisted noodle things

Just use a large pot of water for your pasta. SO many people put barely enough water to cover the noodles, and then it cooks into sludge.

I find some pasta sauce is pretty good right out of the jar. Even the Ragu and Prego ones are OK, I like the Classico brand sauces myself. And franly at the bottom end price-wise is hte cans of Del Monte sauce, but their garlic variety I think tastes good.


And the original simple dish - hamburger helper. But I don;t buy that brand, I just make up a box of macaroni and cheese - follow the box directions - and while that is boiling, I use my skillet to brown up some ground beef. When the macaroni is done and drained, and I have mixed in the flavor pouch plus butter and mik, then I stir the ground beef into the pot with the macaroni. Voila!

I am not one to stop there, I always chop up an onion into the burger and chop up some jalapeno peppers in there, they cook along with the beef.


And a bazillion college students can;t be wrong, get some packets of Ramen Noodles. Boil up some water, dump the stuff in, cover and take off the heat - better yet... follow the package directions.

And sriracha sauce from that oriental grocery livens everything up, in my view.

[troubleagain]

Oh, I think the boxed brand-name "Hamburger Helper" is VILE, but I agree about mac-n-cheese with various meats added. I like to add tuna to mine.

[Lance]

I like to add tuna to mine.

[troubleagain]

Heh. TUNA? You don't like TUNA. Oh, I love TUNA. LOTS and lots of TUNA. TUNA salad, TUNA steaks, TUNA casserole....

Mmmmmm....TUNA.

[Lance]

Tuna is okay. Tuna salad, tuna sandwiches, tomato stuffed with tuna, tuna and cottage cheese... Yummy! But do you notice a trend?

Tuna should never, ever, EVAR be hot, or on anything hot, or IN anything hot, or NEAR anything hot, with the exception of maybe, toast.

[Enzo]

I loved tuna-noodle casserole as a kid, and I still like it. We called it toodle-noodle a lot - we were so clever then. I usually have saltine crackers with it. Sorta reminds me of the crust on top of the baked casserole.

I make mac and cheese with tuna as often as with burger. That's my version of toodle-noodle these days. Make up a box of mac and cheese, drain a can of tuna and toss most of it in. STir. Sometimes I add in a half a can of peas. The hot noodles and cheese warm the tuna and peas.

I always get canned tuna in water, as opposed to in oil. I open the can, use the lid to hold the tuna meat in and drain the fluid into a bowl. Lemme tell ya, my cat goes nuts. He smells that from a dead sleep. By the time I have the can opener half way around the can, a little furry face is poked up next to my leg. MEw mew mew mew mew.

SO I give him abiout half of the tuna water in a little bowl, and boy does he purr. He gets the rest later, but I don;t want tuna water barf on my floor. Of course now the cat associates can opener with tuna water. So ANY time I open a can, a get the furry face really interested. Then as I hold down the can of pinto beans for his inspection, he gets a "well, what is THIS" expression, and wanders off. Corn is almost interesting for some reason. Tomato sauce, not so much.


In the store, next to the canned tuna and salmon, there are these pouches of tuna and salmon filets. I find them pretty tasty. Heated in the microwave for me. They come in flavors, I am partial to the teriyaki salmon. Good with steamed rice, thoug I imagine one could add it to a salad of some sort.

In a similar package, my wife got me a "filet" of Spam for one of my anniversathon gifts.


And of course nice fresh tuna is one of my favorite sushi choices, along with yellow tail and eel.

[troubleagain]

Tuna is okay. Tuna salad, tuna sandwiches, tomato stuffed with tuna, tuna and cottage cheese... Yummy! But do you notice a trend?

Tuna should never, ever, EVAR be hot, or on anything hot, or IN anything hot, or NEAR anything hot, with the exception of maybe, toast.

I SO disagree.

[Arneb]

Mmmmh,tuna a la plancha....

[Enzo]

The tuna that was always swimming after windmills?

[Arneb]

The one :D

[pmcolt]

Tuna does not belong on anything hot; I'll agree with Lance on this one. Toasted bread is the exception. Though I can't eat seafood anyway, so it doesn't matter.

Still have not found an oriental store, so no rice. Someone told me that you can buy 20-lb bags of jasmine rice at BJ's, but I don't have a membership there. (And... BJ's? Someone named a chain of wholesale outlets "BJ's"?) So I may try the hamburger helper idea instead.

I've also learned that, just because I'm too lazy to wash a baking sheet, it doesn't mean that I should use a skillet in the oven instead. The insulated handle doesn't do much good in there.

[Arneb]

No no, not "on" anything hot. Buy a good, fat tuna steak and steam it in white wine for 15 min or fry it with just a bit of olive oil and very gently in a frying pan. Rice, cooked in vegetable broth and with a bit of curry. Steamed broccoli. You get the idea.

Or, if it has to be canned tuna, try pasta with homemade tomato sauce sexed up with a few green olives and half a can of tuna meat.

[Enzo]

Toodle Noodle with tomato sauce??????